Looks like I made it out this weekend again. Pretty luck eh. Guard duties start from the moment we next book in, so the possibility that I get confined for a weekend or more is more real than ever now. Believe me, life in there is simply not.

As the days pass, I find myself learning how to instinctively turn myself off. Do what you're told. Don't think. Once mastered, I should technically be able to fast-forward two years into my life. The issue is, it seems that my mental capabilities are rapidly dwindling the longer I spend in such a state. Thankfully, the existence of such a blog and my subsequent ability to not only exercise my shrinking vocabulary, but also reflect on the lurches and twists my life and emotions are taking.

For once, I bothered to actually jot down a few thoughts throughout the week that I felt were mentionable. Proved so useful, I just might make it a habit. If time permits (it doesn't).

Anyway, I saw something that struck me as quite amusing: on free to air TV, I saw, for the first time in my life, an MMO ad. Yes, this is Singapore TV. The ad was for Grand Chase, some random online game that Koshi said sucked and was imbalanced. Oh well, pity. Not often you see MMORPGs resort to such extreme measures to gain a fan base anyway.

There's this thing I discovered over my time spent in Singapore, that I find quite odd, and never really noticed before. Singaporeans love their abbreviations. They abbreviate everything. In fact, they do so to the extent that as a foreigner coming to live in Singapore, one would quite quickly find oneself lost in all the jargon. This holds true for in the army, outside, whatever. While it doesn't seem so bad outside the army, and seems to be based on individual habit, inside it's just ridiculous. Maybe they have a reason, maybe they don't. I just realised how odd everything would have sounded to someone new at one point.

Another thing that annoys me. Very much. Ok I understand not everyone has had a great or complete education, but seriously. Singlish, fine. I understand. But at least bother to pronounce your words, actually form and say them. People, sergeants especially doing half-assed talking (I really have no idea how one can manage that), really pisses me off. Come on, do I really need to say "L2Talk"? Their diction is such that even straining, it's sometimes difficult even to make out what their trying to say, through no cause of accent, or pidginated language. It's simply because they can't be bothered to form the word properly at all. Ultimate laziness. Realise that I rant here and not at the sergeant(s). Yeah, sorry, this has sort of become my outlet.

Sorry if I seem to have become emo, especially in my tone and all, but I suppose it's only a true reflection of how life's been. You don't need me to elaborate I'm sure. But most of all, in the last week or so, I've been besieged with waves of homesickness as I've never been beset with before. I never knew homesickness could work both ways. Now it seems that wherever I go, I miss the other. Hardly foreseeable in my situation, I would probably embrace Melbourne now, be content never to return. Taking a bird's eye perspective on my life, it seems like I'm destined to forever miss people I love, people who's company I enjoy. Back and forth, back and forth. Like some sort of nomad. Worst of all, it seems like an expanded shadow of the situation I'm currently in: the whole week, live in hell. I obtain a brief respite from it on the weekend for a day, and when other people return to the comfort of their homes and eat, drink, sleep to forget, I return to yet another haven, that once again isn't my home. Terrible.

Most of all, I miss my friends. It seems to be the case with me. Places, food, yes, of course I miss them. But it's the people I miss the most. Despite my apparent isolation from more social activities, I seem to have an attachment to people I cannot explain myself. I miss you guys in Australia, at this point probably all over the place, on holidays and such. So much. It gets triggered by the weirdest incidents and occurances, but when I'm returned to my memories, especially of 2007 with you all, my emotions just override and shutdown my system. I'll need much more mental prowess, stamina, determination and definitely God to ride this through. I really need to say, thanks so much for the card. I keep it near my desk in my aunt's house. Everytime I see it, it strengthens me, reminds me, of what seems at times almost like a pleasant dream from the night before.

It's really time for me to go, I have but a couple of scant hours to prepare to leave again for the camp. The cool thing is, the guys in my section (pretty much my bunk) are really great, and I'm lucky to have such supportive and understanding people around. Sometimes, it's just important to focus on the positive things. This I am learning the hard way.

Good bye.

My goodness. There really is too much to talk about. I knew this would happen... Next time I'm really going to jot my thoughts somewhere. Well... I'll try to make a start. See where we go from there.

Ok, remember how I was sick over Christmas? When I booked out on the 30th of December, I was still sick. As I type this, despite feeling much better, I'm still sick. I blame the camp environment from hampering the normal function of my immune system. Therefore I define the disease caused Army ImmunoDeficiency Syndrome. It started off with a sore throat and fever, progressed into a cough and runny nose. The medical officers in the camp fail. Gave me sore throat medicine? I still have a sore throat. On top of that, a few days after I came down with a cough. Pro huh.

The good thing is, for the last 5 days or so in camp, I didn't do any training, just sat around at the side with the sick people, having obtained an "attend B" status... "light duties only". So while people trained, I did stuff like sweep the area, area cleaning in general. Slack, but I felt sort of bad. My section guys were getting killed while I sat around sweeping the floor.

Now I'm just scared of what's going to happen when I go back to camp in a few hours time. Oh no, a few hours time. Crap. Anyway, technically, how it was supposed to work was this: The first 2 weeks in camp would be a confinement/adjustment period, and no one was supposed to be able to get out. Then first came the Hari Raya. 1 day off. Next came Christmas, 2 days off. By the time the New Year hit, the 2 weeks just ended. Which means from here on, I should be able to come back on weekends. Provided I don't get confined. Or get guard duty. Sigh.

Yeah, well life's been super hectic lately, I barely have time to do anything really. In camp it's just one huge rush to meet timings from morning to night, or risk getting punished, or worse: getting your whole platoon punished because of you. When I get back, there are countless administrative things I have to do, check my email, make calls to parents, wash my clothes, hang them to dry, pack my bag and get ready to leave again, polish my boots (LOL, cannot be bothered, although sooner or later i'm going to get killed for it) etc. Not much time for myself, even out of camp. Sad life.

My parents and sister flew back on the 28th, so Christmas was the last time I saw them... Quite emotional, but I think I'll be seeing my mum again in March sometime when I finish with my basic training. Until then... Just got to hold on.

To all you people in Melbuorne (who are probably everywhere else but), miss you guys a lot >.< not having a proper group of friends here is also taking a toll on me, although my section guys could probably pass for them, given time of course. Wonder how much longer I'll be able to last.

Alright, don't want to waste my last hour or so of freedom left, going to do something fun.

Happy 2008!