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Today was the day of the UMAT. For those wanting to do medicine or any health sciences, today was probably just as important as the final year exams. Truly an intimidating atmosphere. Thousands of people turned up, and that was just for this morning's session. And they all looked smart. And they all wanted a good ranking. Such an evil system when you think about it, pitting students against each other, making them work together with the same people who might eventually bring them down. If thought about too much, this could cultivate an aura of coldness among students, rather than the air of camaraderie experienced by those suffering similar trials. The very same person who you help out might eventually bring you down. Doubt VTAC or anyone else really cares.

Those of us who did the test skipped school today, mainly because it clashed with school times, but also because we would probably be too brain dead to go back to school after the UMAT, and vice versa for those in the afternoon session.

But guess what, I had to have Uni prac today, so no going home and collapsing out of exhaustion, 3 hours of prac work instead! Fscking great!

However, it didn't quite turn out as bad a day as I expected it to be. Met up with Ai Lin, this girl from my Uni Biology class who also did the UMAT at the same time, and also had the same prac time as me. So we had about 2 hours to kill from the end of UMAT till prac started.

So we went for lunch and stuff, was quite nice to know that we weren't alone in getting our brains fried and exploded. The odd thing about Uni life is, you can probably go through your entire degree and not make a single friend, quite easily in fact. Such is the structure of lectures and such. Never really knew anyone in my Uni Bio class, barely acquaintences for the most part. But today was a nice opportunity just to get to know someone a little better. Ai Lin's (Aileen to the Australians haha) from Malaysia, and migrated here at the same time I did. She's actually a really nice girl, sociable, and pleasant to chat with and get to know. Not to mention smart and sophisticated. Interesting given that we probably haven't exchanged more than a few words throughout this entire year so far, despite seeing each other every week.

And then we found out that it seems they tried to put all the UMEP students on the same prac bench, and when there's any sort of conversation at all, everyone soon joins in. Very socially fruitful day, to say the least, having got to know an additional four other people from my class. I'm not a very social person, to be honest, yet sometimes people just draw you in automatically. It's got to do with the company and the people who make it up, after all. Oh, and being the only guy there didn't exactly result in any feelings of isolation or such. Interesting bunch indeed.

And then the funniest thing today. We were doing the prac on fruitflies, regarding inheritance and stuff. So we had some test tubes stoppered up with live Drosophila samples, which we were to drug with chloroform and examine with a dissection microscope.

So then the question is raised: "When we're done with the flies, do we just dump them back into the test tube colonies or into the bins?" to which the lecturer replied, "No. They... have somewhere to go." Upon which he flashes on the TV screens, a jar labelled "FLY MORGUE".



I think the whole room of about a hundred students just burst out laughing at the same time. It was just the way the lecturer said it, it was absolutely hilarious. The flammable symbol didn't help at all. That's a picture of us on our bench dumping some flies.

Between myself and my partner, we had two escapes. One was due to carelessness... The other was just impressive. So these flies are completely drugged and are lying on the tile. Barely twitching. After observing their phenotypes, we're about to dump them into the MORGUE when just as their tipping in, one fly just gets up and flies off at top speed. I swear they were all super drugged and unable to even get up. Survival instincts... Fear the morgue!

Ok, Maths Competition, Chem Competition, and CHEM SAC all tomorrow. And I had to post instead of study. Or sleep. Or do anything more productive. Go me. Yeah, that's right Chem, you better grovel.

'Til next time.

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I shouldn't be up at this time, but I had to do a blog post some time before I exploded. A lot has been happening, but at the same time, not much. How else to put it... Circumstances change, we adapt. That is all. But sometimes we can't adapt. We refuse to. Literature and culture portray humans as a relatively adaptable race. Perhaps that is so. But when we refuse to adapt, chances are we never will. That is human resolve. And adamant as ever it is.

Acts 16
22 The crowd joined in the attack against Paul and Silas, and the magistrates ordered them to be stripped and beaten.
23 After they had been severely flogged, they were thrown into prison, and the jailer was commanded to guard them carefully.
24 Upon receiving such orders, he put them in the inner cell and fastened their feet in the stocks.

25 About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them.
26 Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everybody's chains came loose.

I guess it's about learning to trust God even when circumstances seem dark and dreary. As long as we are living in His will, we can know that everything we go through is part of His plan, and should not worry, knowing that God has our best interests in mind. If Paul and Silas could even worship God in such a dark hour, how much more should we in our circumstances? For surely He will deliver us from the snare of the fowler.

Debating on Wednesday gave us another bad topic, regarding Mohammed Hanif (for those who aren't from around here, he is an Australian doctor accused of recklessly supporting terrorism after his SIM card was found in his cousin's phone, who was involved in an attempted terrorist act in Glasgow recently). His visa was cancelled, and the topic was concerning whether it should be returned. Seriously, this issue is still pending in the courts and the media, was it really fair to ask us to debate that? Perhaps it was the last debate, the Association didn't care anymore. Oh well. We lost by 2 points, because one of the opposition happened to read the paper that morning. Yay.

School results have been coming back, and most of it is good. Might expand on this issue sometime. That's the least of my sources of depression. Let's hope it holds, even though I can barely find the motivation to work anymore.

Next few days I should spend just studying for the UMAT (Undergraduate Medicine & Health Sciences Admission Test), which will be on Wednesday. After which I have a Uni prac, despite not going to school. So glad this schedule is not going to last much longer.

I have officially lost hope in the international mail system. Forgetting to put a return-to address is one thing, but seriously, as if it failed. I don't think she recieved it at all. What are the chances? That was such a waste of the effort, and I doubt I'll be able to find the time to redo another one, given the amount of time I put into it the first time, which was during the holidays. Oh well. Of course, there's always time if you really have to do something. We shall see.

I really must be going, I've been getting progressively tired as the week went on, and thus far, the weekend has done nothing to improve my condition. I wish I could turn my thoughts off manually sometimes, stop thinking the same hopeless thoughts, chasing the same hopeless emotions around in circles, just to get some sleep. I must remember to trust God.

Bye.


Everything I need is You
My beginning, my forever
Everything I need is You.

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Exams are finally over. For the first time in my life, I've had exams both before AND after mid-year holidays. Trust me, it's not fun. I'm glad I sort of went OK on most of it though, some people didn't have that luxury. It caused me to feel both gratefulness but frustration at the same time, not to be able to experience what they feel, yet leaving me with only empathy to substitute. But sometimes, empathy isn't enough. Maybe I should stop caring so much. I wish I could.

The weather these few days has been degrading progressively into insanity. The whole day today the temperature has maintained a stable 5 degrees. Combined with environmental conditions, it actually feels terribly close to 0.

Today, I couldn't even get into Kylie's car (she gives me a lift to school everyday). It was so shockingly gusty, I could barely stand still. I was actually getting physically buffetted by the wind, no joke. I didn't dare to open the car door in case it got blown out of my hands and I wouldn't be able to close it. Even the little sand particles in the wind were starting to cut me. All this is horrifyingly frigid conditions. I miss a lot of things.

I'm starting to question the effectiveness of our international mail system. I haven't lost hope in it yet, hopefully it doesn't fail me. Because that would really suck. Badly. If it did.

Back to school and classes, 9 more weeks to go before classes end. Or, to quote David, 107 Days, 07 Hours remaining to exams. OK... I'm not going to do that anymore. Does evil things to your mind.

Sweet dreams.

Perfect to me.

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Last few days have not felt like holidays, at all. Intensive courses take a lot out of you. From waking up at 6am to non-stop maths (not including lunch break of half an hour). You bet.

Tuesday wasn't bad, he moved quickly but it was methods so it was pretty easy to follow. Also an interesting note, during the entire day within the whole class (about 15 people), no one said more than a word to someone they didn't know. The most was "sorry" for accidentally nudging them or something. I found it all very cold and anti-social. Which was extremely odd of me, for those of you who know me. Anyway.

I was quite tired when I came out, but I still managed to run around city a bit with Emy, followed by the train back. Mum insisted we ate out. She couldn't be bothered cooking for just the two of us. Fair enough.

Wednesday, I discovered that I lost my pen. Yes, that's 3/4 of the way into my holidays and I discover that my pen is lost. I generally use a pencil for schoolwork. Don't worry, I'm not that slack. I just needed a pen for what I was doing that day. I'm never lending my good pen to anyone ever again. I vaguely recall lending it to someone, and I just hate it when they take it upon themselves to keep it upon finishing their current task. Just because I forget to breathe down their necks, pressuring them for my pen back. I should keep a dummy pen or something in my pencil case to lend people next time. Grr.

Today's class was terrible. Ok, I expected the Specialist class to be tough, but he went so fast that I was left behind in the dust by about lunchtime. I never recovered. The rest was blindly copying, hopefully one day when I look back it will mean something to me. Everyone else seemed to be coping fine, they understood where he was going at least. I think I didn't understand the basics properly, and he was skimming over the ADVANCED stuff. Yeah.

However, I thought I might try a little experiment. I initiated (or rather, joined) a conversation (considerable effort was exerted on my part in triggering this process) during one of the pitifully short breaks with someone across the table. It happened to be about gaming (of course). Pretty soon people were contributing, and you could feel the atmosphere noticeably relax and soften. Though it only lasted a minute, the mood stayed until the end. Perhaps a little extroversion wouldn't hurt.

Got to talk to Emily quite a bit as a result of these two days, I think I got to know her a bit better now. Always a pleasure.

It's 2.30am. Enough said.

Good night. To anyone who even bothers reading anymore.

Unrequited?

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I've had a tiring day. And it's just the start. If I do it right, tomorrow should be even more tiring and draining (intensive courses generally are).

Went for lunch with a bunch of friends (10 of us) at Ajisen Ramen in the city. But because I would have no way to get to the city otherwise, I ended up taking a lift with my mum to work in the morning, then taking a train from Glen Waverley.

With nothing to do for about 3-4 hours, I went to the State Library with the intention of studying. For once, my intention translated successfully into action. I was shocked. This might be obvious, but I should mention that the State Library is probably one of the most conducive environments for studying or concentrating that I have ever been in. I blazed through the rest of my preliminary Methods revision, so that's out of the window (sort of), I wish.

It just looked so grand, and the environment seemed infused with a hallowed air of reverence and respect. I was about to attempt a photo when I remembered that no photos were allowed of it's interior. Paranoid huh. Oh well.

Ramen was good, but their spicy is REALLY spicy >.<. Portion sizes and quality all made it worth it, definitely. This being my third time going back to that franchise, I'm still impressed. Everyone then insisted that we somehow cram 10 of us into a neoprint shop and take neoprints. Twice. That was an experience I won't be forgetting for a while O.O, no joke.

After that, we went bubble tea, then half of them went home. In the end Greg, Kylie, Katherine and me went to see Ocean's 13 at Crown Casino. That was quite fun, small group so we had more of a chance to chat and stuff. It was a pretty good movie, much like 11. Also quite ironic, given we were watching it in a casino, lol. Upon exiting the building, we realised the Crown fire display was just starting, and that Kath hadn't seen it before (Kylie was in utter shock at this). That was my third time too, but I never cease to be amazed. Very impressive waste of money and environmental destruction. But I think she liked it, =P.



We then went for dinner at Star East. Note to self: Try to stay away from western food at asian run restaurants. Somehow I ended up with the gimp dish... Kath's wasn't half bad, I think Star East is good at the cream bases. Sigh.

You can see why I'm tired. Tomorrow: 9-4 intensive Maths Methods course with Emily in the city. Getting up at 6, just like a school day. I think I should go to bed. Now. No David, no starcraft/dota, please.

Not tonight.

Night.

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The last few days have been relatively uneventful for me, thus explaining the lack of a post recently. Ok fine, I was lazy too. The holidays seem to be doing weird things to everyone having holidays over here. There's a lingering sense of lethargy permeating our conversations (when we can be bothered to have any). Rather interesting phenomenon, perhaps I will explore it further in time to come.

The school screwed up mailing our reports for the last term. I suddenly hear that somehow somewhere someone has my reports (well, two of the five). I was slightly taken aback, then hurriedly checked my own reports. Indeed, two were missing, and in place... I had one of someone else's report. At that moment I considered if sueing would be a possibility. Reports are private information, and I'm sure we have a case, especially if there were more than just a few people affected by the school's negligence in exposing reports to random people without your consent. Not like I care, honestly, but other people might.

On a side note, my reports kind of sucked, especially for spec and english. Too bad my two best (hopefully) reports are in someone else's hands.

Oh well, my dad wasn't here to give me shit for long though. He took my sister and went back to Singapore this week to meet his parents who are also visiting at this time. We dropped them off at the airport earlier today, apparently they got an Airbus A380, with screens double the normal size and email capabilities. Sounds fun. My parents didn't really give me an option to go back, much as I would have loved to. I guess I am quite busy after all. I'm only starting to realise now how much work I actually have to do. You guessed it, I'm nowhere near on schedule.
This next week isn't going to be pretty. With Gail gone, all the chores are on me... That also includes the full brunt of maternal wrath. Homework piling up rapidly (yes, its piling even though I'm not actively getting any). I shall now go into hiding until a brighter day dawns.

Good bye.

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Last night was probably what will be the most fun I will ever have until the end of Year 12. Namely because activities like that are simply not viable when it comes to maintaining any form of a study pattern. Pfft, who cares. It's the school holidays. It was great. No, I don't care about what people say Year 12 school holidays should be like.

The night started off with a hotpot (steamboat) all-you-can-eat at Glen Waverley, and damn was it good. It started off as a dinner for our spec class, but ended up so many of them couldn't make it (only Chris, Emily and I made it), we could then turn it into a gathering for closer friends. The food was superb, and with company to match. Definitely worth my while.



After dinner, the girls went home, but David, Chris and I then proceeded to meet David's cousin (Ben (AnyQ)), before heading out for Chris' place for a LAN party.

Eight of us in total, some of them came from home. We played a mix of games, including dota, cs, starcraft, quake, -random fun games-, etc. It was just really fun, there was food, drinks (courtesy of Chris and his parents =D), bunch of guys battling it out over the network. Quite a calm relaxed atmosphere. I really have to thank Chris for opening up his place for this, it was a genuine and generous gesture, and I just want to say on behalf of everyone how much we all appreciated it. It really couldn't have happened without you =P. Thanks Chris!

The party lasted for about 12 hours, from about 10-10am, living on adrenaline, foosh (caffeinated mints), and zeal. You can imagine the resulting collapse awaiting everyone the moment we left to take whatever transport we did to get home. After just one minute of sitting down doing nothing, the whole lot of collected fatigue just gets dumped forcefully on you. Not too pleasant, almost like a sort of hangover.

I'm still suffering from the aftereffects of it 12 hours later, even after falling asleep trying to read the most boring book for english (The Kite Runner), and inevitably getting a few hours of unplanned sleep in. No, I didn't get much done.

I should try to sleep a little earlier, hopefully tomorrow will yield a more fruitful harvest in terms of work accomplished.

Good night.