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Something told me that I had chosen the wrong time to put my computer in to get a new battery (which seems to be working pretty well by the way). So many things to write about, the last four days or so have arguably contained some of the most important and memorable events of my life so far.

Basically, school has officially ended. Yup, today brought the bittersweet end of an era in my life. But first, let me talk about a barbecue I attended on Sunday (aren't you glad I actually bothered with a mental checklist over this weekend... Messed up ideas in a post like this would be bad).

Upon reflection, I think I might have failed to mention a key element in shaping the emotions that come with a period such as this. About a month after the exams and, most of my friends are going away together on a trip to Korea/Japan. Just the group of us pretty much. Thanks to the Singapore Government's National Service, despite my residence elsewhere, I cannot join them on this holiday to Japan. Which I would actually have loved to go to dearly. However, this is something I've come to terms with a while ago now, accepted the situation. I suppose in a sense, I have other things to look forward to. Like seeing people I've missed for ages, people I haven't met for a long time.

Anyway, this Sunday was technically a barbecue organised by Kylie for the expressed purpose of allowing the parents of those going away on holiday together to meet each other, some for the first time, while at the same time allowing for discussion for the trip. Since I live pretty much a few streets away from Kylie (while everyone lives at least 30 mins away) and am the only sad person who can't actually come for the trip but would have liked to, I was invited along too. The barbecue seemed quite a success I thought, except for the stifling heat while we sat outside near the barbecue to keep Kylie company in a relatively unsheltered spot. Melbourne actually gets a lot hotter than Singapore when it wants to get that way. It probably does it about 5 times a year.

The parents seemed to be able to mix well with each other, although it was sort of odd to me at first that the dads separated themselves in a separate group from the mums. Not so much after thinking about it. The initial effect of putting everyone together for introductions and the like reminded me a bit of a water/oil emulsion -.-". The dads formed a micelle by themselves, as did our group and the mums. Was quite funny actually, the micelles then proceeded to move away from each other. But yeah, other than that it seemed quite lively and stuff. I thought everyone was quite sensitive to me, by not bringing up the trip so frequently in conversation, really appreciated that. Kind of had enough of not being able to go, then being constantly reminded of it.

My sister, Kat and I stayed with Kylie and her brother until 6+, singing songs and just being social. It was fun, Kylie was tipsy lol. So many beers/premixes (8?!) for the loss. But yeah, I think that will go down in my memories for a while.

Well, the following day was our speech night, which in general terms we would call our graduation. They actually booked out a rather formal venue, the Melbourne Town Hall, which I had never personally been to before then anyway lol... But you could tell it was quite a grand place. And it had a huge organ. All the way up the back wall of the stage to the high roof. The walls held ancient tapestries and were adorned with ornate... Never mind. Don't bother.

Had to wake up super early to make it for the dress rehersal which was early in the morning... Met up with Kylie to take the train to the city together, we actually had to get up sometime around 5.30-6am. And take a train all the way down. Despite this, we still managed to be late. Go go Melbourne public transport, delay trains more. Still can't get used to it after living in Singapore. Anyway, we weren't that late and stuff hadn't really started yet.

I was actually almost dying of hunger by the time we got out, especially because I had to stay later since apparently I was getting some kind of academic award (wow, I actually did). Got out at like 12ish, which is a really long time, despite it not seeming like much, especially since we had to wake up and eat extra early. Anyway, after lunch with David and Mickey D, Mickey D ditched us and went home :O. David had to go back to the Hall for Wilkie Orchestra rehersal for the night's performance (lol). I met him later at the State Library to study.

As it turned out, I think about half the Asian Year 12 population at our school who bothered to turn up to the rehersal was somewhere in the State Library studying. Quite sad, but it really is the fault of the culture and school for having graduations before exams are over -.-". We were supposed to go to a LAN cafe to play games for a bit after 4ish, but in the end no one turned up. So me and David went and played just an hour, before meeting up with the whole gang at 6 for dinner.

Ok the dinner was really crap. Went to try some random new Japanese place, but I swear the "ramen" tasted like won-ton mee soup ok. Most of us thought the same. The funniest thing was that Kylie's family, who was going to the Speech Night later that night appeared at the same place to eat dinner as we went. Which was sort of awkward, but we lived with it. And then Kat's parents came in. To the same restaurant. Totally not organised (or was it!? Conspiracy theory hooo~).

Generally, speech night went ok. I expected it to be long and boring like last year was when we had to attend the the leaving Year 12's last year. Surprisingly, it didn't seem a very long time at all. I suppose it makes some difference to actually be the cohort leaving the school, sitting on stage that everyone was talking about. It actually related, and I think that was why it was all quite emotional too.

They refused to tell us the awards until they actually got anounced on the night, how stupid is that. Made it so hard for them to organise those people getting more than one award (not me) as well. On the very night itself there were teachers there screwing around with the order of people to go up on stage. And we had no idea what we were getting them for. The best we could have was a fair idea. Bad planning. Even worse, some people who had to go up and recieve things like gift books (the whole year 12 cohort individually came up to shake hands and recieve this) but were involved in drama or music or any performances that night might have missed it. Someone actually did, due to poor planning which I thought was really sad.

The whole time, we were sitting on stage and couldn't hear a word of the speeches due to the crap acoustics we got from people talking on stage. Obviously it was made so only the audience heard it clearly enough to make out what anyone was saying. So we just stared blankly back at the audience or whispered quietly. I manage to do a pro swap thing after we recieved our gift books and walked off the stage. Since our house was the first to recieve gift books, pulling this off meant I could go sit with Kylie on the other side of the row (we split into two lines from the middle of the row) (Kylie was the only person I really talked to from my house). At least I had someone to talk to for the rest of the night.

Walking off was pretty emotional, all the way until everyone left. Before the sending off, we were subjected to some pretty harsh (touching) song treatment, evil combinations of songs to make us reflect and cry pretty much. As we filed off the stage, significant of leaving the school, I think many people might have. I was one of the first off, I wouldn't know. I do know that the resulting mass of mad people at the other end of the line in a room was really quite a mess. There was every sort of emotion expressed there, including confusion as to what to feel (probably me). Not knowing whether to laugh or cry, whether to rejoice or grieve, to maintain composure or break down. It's an extremely odd feeling, one that I had never experienced before, and likely will never experience again. More memories seared into my mind. Only the gift book remains as the physical rememberance of that night, no doubt it will trigger and retrigger those memories for many years to come yet.

All this, and I've only been in the school for 3 years. Some have been for 12. I sort of gave up my analysis when I realised that.

Sigh, almost there.

Today was our Year 12 breakfast and final assembly. The breakfast was fun, in terms of the fellowship and socialising we got to do in a controlled environment among both teachers and friends. The breakfast itself was rather disappointing. It was actually very nice, pastries and fruits and the like. Just not enough of it. Oh well, what to expect of something you didn't explicitly pay for -.-"...

Final assembly... Well, what can I say, it was the final assembly >.>. The first "formal" part wasn't much different, various "gl hf" speeches from the higher-ups. Then a student run component of the formal that involved some music/dance performances (not all of which were actually good by the way). And 'fun' awards were given out, more as a joke than anything. "Most likely to become a billionaire", etc.

All in all I think the morning was pretty worthwhile, I think the emotions had hit pretty hard on both days, and I found that to be especially true when songs are involved. Ah, the wonders of music. Another thing worth mentioning is that during all this, autograph/gift/record books were being passed around tirelessly, and I think I'm quite sick of thinking up more phrases and words of encouragement to write in people's autograph books. Seriously, how many ways is there to say "good luck" to people? I didn't do an autograph thing myself, but I think the gift book, with everyone's face and a quote beneath it will do fine.

I spent the rest of today eating lunch with the group, the happy cup, and then lan again with David and his cousin AnyQ and his friends from school (they are in year 11, Glen Waverley Secondary College). And then I had...

The last Uni Bio lecture ever! This was really nice too. My class consists mainly of girls, probably contributed towards the sort of 'nice' attitude towards Ms. Caulfield, or Bernadette as we're supposed to call her as "uni" students. People actually brought party food to some extent, and Leah actually bothered to bring a thank you card, which we all signed. Of course, we got contacts exchanged too... Hopefully Tanya remembers to email the list of emails she collected to everyone ON that list. Lol, oh well. They were a fun bunch, the UMEP people, albeit extremely smart, every one of them. It's sort of nice to know people like that, I find, especially if they themselves are nice people too. Which I think encompassed our whole class pretty much. I think many of them are worth staying in touch with, along with the group from school.

Ok, this post took over an hour to do. I don't know why, probably because I'm tired and stuff. Also perhaps because this post breaks the record again for longest post yet. Tomorrow the study routine begins anew, hopefully not hampered by the presence of this evil machine again. God has been gracious though, and I will no doubt get through this period. For all of you out there stressing, for whatever reason be it exams, project work, whatever stuff wearing you out, I'm praying for you guys ^^

Good bye. Good game. Hats off to a life now left behind.

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So here we are. The last day of school. I'm just out of my last class, specialist ironically. Thus explaining the odd timing for this post. We did absolutely no work in school, everyong stunned to laziness and lethargy. And there was a lot of food. Junk food. Stuff I never thought I could get fed up of. But I did... eventually, three class later, I don't think I could have eaten more. It was so bad because every consecutive class, the food got better. First there was chocolate bars, then there was shapes and chips, and in the last class there was nachos and salsa -.-". How to resist? And that's the end.

No more school. Well, technically, it's no more classes, no more restrcition by a strict regimental schedule. It actually means a lot. Once again, incredible atmosphere, if anyone cared enough to settle down and just feel it. I think most people finally realised the reality of actually finishing school, and it's both an exciting, yet almost scary prospect. The number of people with their shirts and dresses completely defaced by marker pens with autographs and signatures was really quite impressive. Signing notebooks, dresses, shirts and stuff was really quite funny, since it basically gave you a chance each time to leave your mark in someone else's life, remembered for as long as their memorandum of their high school days remain. Which will definitely last a lot longer than memories and motivation to keep in touch stay for. Trust me, I've left school before.
Myself, I contented myself with MSNs. It's all that really matters to me, other forms of contact in my case are either impractical or unreliable. Which is rather sad, but at least it's something constant to hold on to.

Makes me wonder, how many people will actually bother to remember the days of school, the people they associated with and keep in touch. Getting their MSN is one thing, but will you ever say a word to them, or have any reason to whatsoever thereafter? Kylie made an extremely valid point I thought as we walked to school on one of our final days. Close friends, perhaps you will stay in touch. But what about the people who just fall short of that status? Less than close friends, yet not distant enough to be mere acquaintences. What will happen to those relationships? Will they be lost forever like many other things disappearing with this day? It hurts methinking about the potential that I have been given, and how much of that was wasted, my time in school squandered, instead of doing something productive with it, especially in terms of my relations and exchanges with others. Perhaps these are just symptoms of reflection, looking back and regretting after the end has already passed. Very cliche, but as you might have observed throughout my blog... They actually hold quite a lot of truth sometimes. There are reasons they become cliches after all.

Well, you wonder what inspired this super early blog post (a record breaker, I believe). Well, in a desperate bid to rid myself of my insatiable appitite for playing games, wasting time, anything unrelated to study caused as a result of the presence of this computer, I have decided to get rid of it, if only for a little while, for some time. I do need to get a new battery anyway, before I leave school (it's free, comes with insurance anyway), might as well not waste what I paid for. So I'll give my computer in for servicing over this weekend. The last resort, pretty much, to force myself to study. That it had to come to this, sigh. I blame David, so distracting/peer pressure lol. Well not really, it's as much my fault as anyone.

So I won't be able to post nor come online for this weekend, and even after that, expect very sparse posts and shorter hours on MSN. This transient period of survival without my computer should hopefully quell any evil within my corrputed mind, turning it instead to the Light (study).
Monday is Speech Night, or with words most people generally understand, our formal graduation ceremony. Tuesday will be a breakfast for all the Year 12s, our final assembly. After that, running around the school visiting teachers from our younger years should be quite satisfying. Especially for people who have been here since they were 5 or 6, let alone myself who game when I was 15 into Year 10. I can only imagine and grope at the intensity of emotions that must be swarming them.

Good bye to my computer. At least for now. Good bye to school. Forever.

So long and goodbye.

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So the end has started. The last Monday at school ever. So significant... Monday's have always been the worst days, definitely. Super don't want to go back to school after the weekend. And that was the last.

Also had my last uni prac today. Damn, that went off with a bang. Try cockroaches. No, no gloves. Nope, no dissection tools. You DO get a dissection microscope to put the cockroach under because you want to get a nice clear view of it's disgusting face staring right back at you, the size of your own head in the microscope lens. On top of that, our demonstrator just couldn't resist throwing in a story. Apparently one of the biology coordinators people helping out during our prac, performed a dissection on a cockroach at some point while they were studying. So they left the dissected cockroach and went off to do something else, help someone or something. They come back, and they find the dissection wax empty, a body fluid trail leading off the dissection table, and not far away is a half dead cockroach, dragging it's body, with most of it's internal organs missing, across the table in a desperate bid to get away.

Everyone looked at their own cockroaches, which barely looked dead at all, just submerged in what looked like water. I think most people rage-quit that part of the prac right away. Surprisingly, there wasn't much screaming coming from the girls, not during the rat dissection, or the worm dissection, or the cockroach dissection... Very odd, considering there must be at least 50+ girls in the room... I think this has something to do with the environment of a biology prac. Perhaps their all afraid to show their true fears in such an environment where people who they probably don't know are sitting next to them? Pressure? Shame? Me. Exams are killing my inquisitiveness.

I've probably reached a record level of tiredness the past few days, my sleeping patterns are all gone out the window. And for all the wrong reasons. My body, adapting naturally to the tiredness thanks to my WoW training from all those raids last year, hasn't shown any signs of tiredness. But apparently, people have been telling me that I'm tired, and I'm completely different, behaving like I'm not myself. This should technically concern me somewhat, but the fact that I don't seem the least bit fazed is probably attributed to the tiredness too.

It seems the closer exams come, the less work i'm doing. I seem to be under the illusion that I'm actually not going that badly at all, I can afford to take these breaks. And then I try a practice paper. Lol. Straight to play games to forget what just happened. Repeat. Very bad indeed. I plan to break the cycle by somehow stealing my computer from myself. Yes, brilliant. I need to get a new battery and my computer serviced in general, especially since i'm leaving the school, and why not get free battery/parts replaced/servicing for free while I'm still here? (Go go Singaporean). That will take a few days, and it is with that fell stroke that I plan to transition into study mode. It better work. It sort of is my last resort.

David actually started a "study blog" lol, pretty cool idea. But novelty nonetheless. The type that go out very fast, people lose interest in. Maybe it will help me start studying properly though. If only for that, I'll give it a chance. Anyone is welcome to go visit and stuff, but it will probably only be especially helpful to people doing Year 12 this year. Or it might stress you out. Or give you extra stuff you don't need. When it comes to David, I personally advise extreme caution. Lol.

Two more days of school, lets go. I really should sleep. Can't be bothered with worm photos, you evil sadistic people. Lol, just kidding, I'll do it tomorrow or something. (Seriously, who wants photos of themselves and completely mutliated and defiled corpses (carcasses) of earthworms...)

Good night.

I know what it's like. More than you realise.

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