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Season's greetings from here in Singapore! This year, I totally failed at culturing any festive mood in myself: the motivation was just not there. Focus has been anywhere but on Christmas, especially in a place like Singapore that isn't even a Christian country, where most people don't even know anything about Christmas except that it's a public holiday. Today at church I heard carols that I missed so much, never even had the time to revisit. Truly, they reminded me of good times past. Oh well.

Tonight it's back to camp, it's also probably the last time I'll see my parents for some time... Until March, at least. Quite sad. But there's nothing for it, I guess. The next book out will be on the 30th I believe, for New Year celebrations.

Well, the last 2 days I've been down with throat infections, feeling feverish etc. Only since I booked out of camp on the 23rd night. It's quite a bit better now, but my throat is still sore and the infection is still around. Zzz, it's all the stupid army's fault.

Short post today, got to head off to a family Christmas lunch, then I don't have much time after before I have to head off to Pasir Ris (extreme East side of Singapore) to catch the shuttle to the ferry terminal.

I'm starting to understand the logic behind things like shaving the heads of all recruits, the disallowance of any sort of accessory, the same uniform everyone has to wear etc. (Yes, I am bald now. Shut up.) The idea seems to be to minimise the personal traits of each person, emphasising on the idea that all individials should be made as alike as possible. Some psychological reasons I suppose, to "help" people to adapt.

Have to go now, had more to say, but maybe another time.

Merry Christmas!

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Surprise! It's some random Muslim public holiday today! And I got 24 hours off. Only a few hours left before I have report back.

From this, you can already infer a few things about what's been happening with me so far in NS and stuff. Firstly, due to a whole bunch of crap, I'm not really allowed to post much about how life is there etc. BS isn't it. Oh well. I'm starting to get used to things like that. But I'll try my best without breaching any of their lameness. Basically, stuff that everyone either already knows, or could find out easily.

To be exact, it's actually Hari Raya Haji, some random holiday that I didn't really know about. When I went off for my enlistment, it was a pleasant surprise to find that we were actually given this public holiday off, as well as 48 hours for Christmas. The pleasantness sort of ends there. Maybe.

I'm not going to name my company or anything else, probably get killed for it. But in terms of where I was posted, I must say I think I'm quite lucky. My superiors seem vaguely human, in the least. The horror stories of NS from those who passed before me seem irrelevant and far-fetched, too. That is, until I got a glimpse of other companies. Once again not saying anything, but it just made me glad I had the commanders I have. Really, thank God for that, this was something I was truly concerned about, feared even. God delivered of course, once again.

That said, military life still sucks. No details (this is annoying huh), but I think, especially for the first few days, the challenge hasn't been too much on the physical side. Instead, another factor has come in, which was probably the greatest challenge, and still will be for a while to come I assume. The words "mental stamina" probably don't mean much to many people: definitely not to me. Until I went into camp. The essence of what made life so difficult in the first few days was this: Can you live with a bunch of people who have complete power over you, and surrender pretty much all your rights into their hands? You basically have no rights other than those they find appropriate to award you. These can be relinquished at any time. Perhaps that made it clearer why having unreasonable commanders can drive one insane. Vulgar commanders don't make it much better. No more about that.

Living without freedom, true freedom (control-freak parents don't count), was probably the greatest test of my mental stamina in my life. I found my mind simply shutting itself down, refusing to comprehend or try to reason out the circumstance I had been placed in. In doing so, I think it made it possible for me to zombie on, forgetting what I was doing. And life went on. Do what I was told, don't ask why, and when done, wait for the next thing you're told. Can I get used to life like that? Probably. Can I live with it? No. I don't think it will ever be possible for me to truly live in such an environment. The restrictions on my mental capacity and other less physical aspects are simply too overpowering. The only prized qualities (that I can see) seem to be obedience, zeal, and physical fitness. There is really very little else that seems to count in the environment I'm living in. Frankly, I fear the damage it will do to my mental capacities, which does happen to be stronger than my physical aspect.

I do happen to have been placed among people possessing similar educational qualifications to mine, but there's still a difference. Fact wise, their probably smarter than me. But in terms of their general knowledge, I feel they're sorely lacking. This is a classic example of the contrast between educations in a country like Singapore, compared to somewhere like Australia. Simple example: (Filling up some form) "Are Catholics Christians?" Me: "Yeah." Other random: "No they're not!" Me: "Sigh++." They've been educated in an environment where things like religion and other aspects are barely touched on. I doubt they know anything about the fact that they're actually Protestants, like me, and Catholics are just another denomination of Christianity. Of course, the only things they know are from their own churches, who would of course tell them that Catholics aren't Christians (go go conservatives -.-"). Which they go on to believe. Nothing more on that: I'm just thankful that I didn't get some bunch of school drop-outs.

But through the actions of my company commanders, I think I'm slowly learning to handle living in such an environment. Can't really say anything, but my commanders really know what they're doing. And they understand the situation, possessing a measure of compassion on top of that. That makes for some powerful solutions to arise for myself and those around me to relieve the pain of innumerable negative emotions.

The physical aspect was just picking up before I left. It's been more lectures and things up to now, like introductions, opening addresses etc. Boring stuff. But better than training. Thankfully, it's progressive, and a program designed for those who failed the physical fitness like me. Hopefully it will be bearable.

Of the things I miss, number one on the list would be hot water showers, definitely. Always hated cold water. Still do. Close second is music. Yes, music. Apart from some super crap quality radio playing somewhere during meals, there pretty much isn't any music around. Why not bring in my ipod this time? No time to listen to it. Everything you do has a time limit. Not meeting the time limit means you die. Put it this way: Sometimes, you know from the start no one's going to make the time limit. That said, we have a grand total of 1 hour (relinquishable, of course) to attend to our personal matters. This includes calling anyone, using your phone, showering, brushing your teeth, shaving, packing, getting ready for the next day, washing your clothes, whatever else you need. Oh by the way, queues exist for showers, sinks and cubicles. Good luck, have fun.

I'm off, hope it doesn't get too bad in the next few days before christmas comes around. Next post then =)

OK OK! I know I'm avoiding the whole thing with the results. As yet, it's still classified information :P... Not going to release to the group of you yet, need a few more results from some key people ^^. Here's a clue: I felt the results weren't good enough, though I'm not necessarily disappointed: Rather, I'm annoyed because I believe I could have done better. However, if I attached my results to this post, I feel that many of you might rage at me. That said, my results might appear at a later stage... Watch this space ;)

Bye.

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So. Hello everyone. This is the last post I will make before I officially become an NS man, happening at about 11am on the 15th of December. Which happens to be today. Oh dear. Basically, 8-9 hours from now approximately, I'll be on aboard some sort of vessel on my way to Alcatraz. Ok, maybe it's not Alcatraz Bolvanger (lol!), but Pulau Tekong (An island off Singapore that features an NS "training facility") really does fit the bill though. Yeah, I'm going there to be living there pretty much for the next three months, until my physical training followed by Basic Military Training ends. And, as we all know, there wasn't a way out of Alcatraz. Or maybe there was: That's what i'm hoping for... At least giving me public holidays such as Christmas and New Year's off would be really nice (sad that i'm happy with just that).

Spent the last few days gathering the materials for the voyage, what's good in a way was that there wasn't much to pack: the army provides almost everything. Not like I'm going to be able to find military issue boots etc elsewhere anyway.

Over the last few days, my parents and sister flew into Singapore too, to see me off and spend until Christmas+ over here with relatives. So been meeting up and stuff. Not much really.

What am I feeling? No clue. I've often thought about this time, imagined and played the scene out many times in my head over the past few years... To the point where it's like i've been anaesthatised towards any such thoughts. But still, a prevailing sense of nervousness and fear of the unknown rises in me whenever my thoughts stir in that general direction. But I suppose that's natural, right? I've tried my best to let go of commitments and ties in "this life", both emotionally and mentally. For instance, I powerlevelled my ass so hard in WoW, determined to hit level 70 before entering the army. I just hit it this morning, after a month of gametime. Huge rush that was. But levelling from 60-70 in a month while still maintaining a life, migrating, followed shortly after by conscription into the National defence forces: I would say that wasn't a bad effort.

Anyway, tying off loose ends like those have helped to some extent prepare me mentally for the new life I will have to embrace, quite closely, for the next 2 years. I will begin reconnecting to the world again when the appropriate level and degree of freedom is afforded to me. Sounds like a plan huh? Either that, or I've turned into an estranged, soul-severed shell of a person. I sincerely hope the latter occurs only in my imagination. And I hope it stays that way.

Really don't know how I'll turn out at the end of this 3 months, which I assume will be the next time I'll be able to blog (Hey, it's better to prepare for the worst ^^ (for me anyway)). As David put it: Hopefully for the better. Need to concentrate on the product result and not the reaction journey.

Of all the things I'll miss in the camp, including people, places and the usual (Computer lol), I discovered recently that I might experience quite heavy withdrawals towards having no real access to music. Music is actually quite a large part of my life, again something I noticed in my brief move to Singapore in the last 2 weeks. Music addiction. Great.

Right, just wanted to wish all my friends headed off to Japan: Good journey (Wish I could have come)! Have fun ok? (Lol without me? Good luck.) Don't kill Greg~ (LOL crossing fingers~) Tell me all about it when I get back ^^.

To the rest of you in Melbourne! Good luck with your results!! (Oh, lol. Forgot to mention. My results come out in 2 days time. Perfect. I'll be in a camp, killing myself. Super worst time to get results ever.) Just relax ok? Just think of me, and be glad you even got access to the results lol!

To those in Singapore! Enjoy the rest of the holidays ok? Studying is good: Studying too much is not. Remember: prepare for the final year, but remember that the final year is there to prepare you too.

Alright, I should get going. Finalise my luggage (small one really), then sleep a little (if I manage any) (this post actually helped a lot =D), and then it's 54321 glhf~!!

This is Glen, AKA Geecee, signing off. (If you see Geecee on WoW, it's probably Hachi or Koshi pvping for me~)

/salute.

Into the rain.

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Strangely, ever since I came here, it's been really hard for me to remember the things I want to say in my posts anymore. Sometimes something comes to mind, but I find it nearly impossible to hold that thought in my head throughout the day until the next time I blog. I do remember it was slightly more complex than the average topic though. Oh well. I bet you're all thankful I forgot =_=".

Well, few things have happened really, and yet I've been extremely busy. Looking back, how can I have nothing to blog about but been that busy? Maybe I'm just wasting more time in the day. It's an odd thing I noticed as I move from place to unfamiliar place. In places where I don't really feel at home, my time management skills seem to waver, and days just become shorter. Where does the time go? Could it just mean that I sit around doing nothing more...? Certainly doesn't feel like it =/.

Well, with regards to the issue with my hard drive and keyboard: We made a trip down to Funan Centre today (Computer/tech hub of Singapore, so to speak. Well, the high(er) end one anyway >.>), to see what could be done about the keyboard/drive. Many thanks to my aunt for sacrificing her whole Saturday morning, driving me first to CMPB to turn in submit my documents regarding NS, like my exit permit, and then taking me to Funan where we then proceeded to look for shops which seemed to cater to my needs. Apparently, the bracket of the key itself was broken, and a replacement would mean replacing the entire laptop keyboard, costing about $100. Come on, I'm so not paying that for a broken "a" key that WAS still usable, just with great difficulty. Ended up buying a basic USB keyboard for like $16 (Ok, that's still expensive but it's Logitec, and it's cool :D). Works just as well. My laptop isn't exactly going to be very mobile anyway (not that I anticipate).

As for the hard drive, thank God the drive itself didn't die: rather, the apparently cheap casing did. We eventually found a shop that agreed to test the drive to see if it still functioned: the guy who did it was pretty cool, he told me that the case was actually really cheap, especially for a drive of that calibre/capacity. Hey, it was cheap after all. But I got a new case, this time quite a proper one, cost like $60 but well, came with a 1 year warranty (Not that the other case didn't have a warranty, but I'm not about to fly/send it back to Australia to claim another cheap case).

Anyway! I'm typing this on the new keyboard, and it feels good to be back in business. Even if I only have another week.

Oh yes, I met up with Eugene on Friday, Alex and Jit Wei couldn't make it =(, so just went for lunch at Paragon, and then watched The Golden Compass. For all you Australian readers, lol wait a few more weeks for it to come out in the cinemas there. Not many people seem to realise this but it's actually based on book, which is the first of a trilogy. The name of the trilogy and the author escape me, but I do recall that the last book is called The Amber Spyglass or something like that. Anyway, it was pretty good I thought, quite a few stars in the cast too.

Apparently, the series and the books have strong anti-religious themes, not as strongly present in the film. Fair enough I suppose, but I'm not about to boycott it just because of that (as some email I recieved suggested). Where does that leave the Christian community at large if everything that suggests an alternative to our beliefs is simply ignored and shut away, so that the majority of the population of Christians don't even know why. "Oh it's bad for you." Reminds me too much of the old feuds between Catholics and Protestants for me to comply. Perhaps if you're unsure of your level of faith, or fear that it my sway or confuse you, then you have a reason. As mature Christians, are you sure the whole "closed mind" thing really works after a while? To me, it makes them look like idiots. No offence intended whatsoever. This view of Christians is then generalised by the public: and tah-dah! "Christianity? Lol." Very sad state we've come to, indeed.

Lol, enough about such dreary topics. I'm meeting up with Lynette on Monday...! It really feels like it's been forever since we last did. Really missed her quite a lot, probably the most during my stay in Australia. In terms of friends I'm in touch with, she's the one I've known for the longest time, from back in our primary school days =). Time and distance sort of came in, we lost touch for quite a while actually... Until my last trip here. She's the closest friend I have in Singapore, by quite a long shot in fact. Therefore, as you would expect, I look forward to this forthcoming Monday with great anticipation. and dread?

Tuesday is Hachiru's birthday party! It's a barbecue or something, but nothing's been finalised or sorted out yet etc... As you would expect from Hachi... For those who don't know! (Pretty much all of you bar one/a few) Hachi is and was my guildmate in WoW. Known him for quite a while now, and we've met before when I last came to Singapore. Him and Koshi (I don't know how to spell his full in-game name) are friends, so I got to meet him too. Cool guys =D, the barbecue should be fun too, assuming I actually get the info and stuff before the party is actually over -.-".

Sigh, I do apologise for my monster posts... I say there's nothing to say but then I rant on and on... Sumimasen~, I'll try harder next time T.T.

By the way... This new keyboard takes getting used to >.> The backspace is so small! The backslash is in the wrong place! The Enter button is HUGE! I don't have an "Fn" key! I have a NUMPAD! The Left Alt button is too close to the left side! The spacebar is too long! (These might make a bit more sense, and sound a bit more like bothers that need getting used to, if you PC game a lot :P).

Bye bye~.

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