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I know it's a little late, but I'd just like to say a big thank you, to all of you who helped give meaning to my birthday. Even though it is just another day, I believe that the weight and significance of a day can gauged by the meaning added to it by those around you, rather than the day itself, which really, is meaningless. 

And to you, who made that day special, who made my day; here's a heartfelt tribute of appreciation. Expression once again seems to fail, the capacity of the English language is such. However, my gratitude, along with the resulting influx of emotions, continues to soar far above that limit. You've given me something so invaluable and precious, though it may seem like so little. It's going to stay with me for the rest of my life, and I will treasure it. Powerful indeed, memories are. 

Finally got myself a bag... Cost a bit, but I think it's worth it. Timbuk2, for those wondering. Ballistic nylon? Win. While most of the bags stocked here are made in Vietnam, I managed to get one hand-made from San Fransisco. Got lucky I guess? One of the last few in Singapore, I believe. It was the colour I wanted, too. All black. Somehow, I think colour seems a little too important to me sometimes, than I'd like to believe. 

Men's Conference  at church yesterday was pretty good, althought a little too testosterone charged for my liking in certain aspects... Come to think of it, I think it's the first one I've been to, despite it being held at my church back in Australia annually. I sort of realise why now, it never really appealed to me, their selling points, that is. However, Phil Pringle was great, and I suppose there are some things that you can't really preach/say when the girls are around. =P

Waiting, sinking slow,

But then, still we hold for

You, elusive dove of

The nighttime, angel of dreams,

Blooming yonder. Come, daybreak.

Ad infinitum.

--------------------

School's moving along, we're full swing into the next and final stages of my M1 studies - Head and Neck. And also, as rumour has it, the hardest. On top of that, we're going to have to start cramming in work from the entire year, a year's worth of revision into the next two months or so leading up to the final exams. Daunting task, you say? Well, sacrifices have to be made, definitely. But some things get sacrificed more than others, and some things don't. I managed to study harder than I've studied since I get into medicine for the last CA, despite it's appalling turnout. I'm going to break that record again for the Pros coming up this time. 

Building on the previous post... I realised something further. Simple, uncomplicated things, they tend not to hold my interest for very long. This applies to people too, much as I would like to think otherwise. Superficial people, they don't engage me. Whether they're just being superficial, or that's really all there is to them, I find it difficult to go further than acquaintences, or at most friends. I find that the people I tend to relate to, form closer friendships with, they can be complicated, deep. But wonderfully so. Much as I like understanding stuff, it's the things that sometimes I realise I'll never fully understand, that really enchant. Call me crazy, but somehow, it's those who possess a deeper level of thought and understanding who truly captivate me, no matter how they appear on the surface.

Ahem, as I was saying... The External Jugular Vein lies superficial to the Sternocleidomastoid, deep to which lie the contents of the carotid sheath...

I passed my driving Basic Theory Test (BTT) today~! Despite what it was hyped up to be, it actually turned out rather straightforward... Ok, it wasn't really hyped up. I was told it was easy, and that i'd be fine, while around me people had failed/were failing it. Anyway, really studied that book back to front, pulled a super ninja move that landed me in the BTT practice, right before my actual test time. Yup, you were right. Questions got repeated, lol. Anyway, now that's done, I've got to get my Provisional Driving Licence up, and start preparing for the Final Theory (FTT), and looking for private instructors for practical lessons. Contacts, anyone?

My goodness, I think we really annoyed the old man during clinicals today... Imagine, 10 medical students taking turns at touching him under his shirt, taking they're time about it, then discussing him, in front of him (albeit in English which he thankfully didn't understand), but honestly the glances we gave would have been enough. Suddenly the conversations would just cease, and 11 pairs of eyes turn on him, unblinking. We're counting his respiratory rate, but he doesn't know that now does he. I'd be freaked if that was me, honestly. Thinking back, poor guy huh ><.

I need a new bag. Now. Going bagless is starting to get to me, running around today without one was terrible. Ever since I broke my last bag, I haven't been able to find one I liked that was IN STOCK (mumble mumble crumpler mumble stock fail mumble). Now, I'm just desperate for a bag, not desperate enough to just get any one (I'm actually really really fussy.), but I'll explore a little further =P.

Bye~.

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The CA is over, but it's only just begun. I really did study for it properly, this time around. And got stumped yet again. I won't rant about it here though, it's already over, and there's nothing more to be done now. I've promised not to be cut up about it, and I won't.

Sometimes though, I wonder what the issue is. It's been 3 exams, and I still haven't seem to have got the hang of studying at uni, studying in Singapore. It's a big change, definitely, from school in Melbourne, but how long does it take? 

If there was one thing I'd pride myself in as a person (God aside, that's another story), I think it would be the ability to learn anything, comparatively fast. Teach me anything, and if my body's able to handle it, I'll learn. Whether it's concepts, practical skills, or anything else, I find I pick things up a lot faster than it takes most others. There's one problem though. While I pick up new things quickly, when I have to go beyond anything above the basics that is graspable in one sitting or session, or move into deeper levels of learning within a certain discipline, I start to waver. Also, while I can pick up things quickly, I tend to lose them just as fast, or faster, if I don't consistently use it. 

People ask me why I'm worried about the CA and the coming big exam, or "Pros", short for "First Professional M.B.B.S". If you talk to me after a lecture about what was just said, I apparently tend to have an idea about what was said, and understand it quite well. But what people don't realise is, if they asked me the same questions regarding that lecture a week later, I wouldn't even remember what lecture they meant. I suppose, herein lies my problem. 

Hmm, the opportunity to serve in my faculty's VCF community has come up. I haven't really been able thus far to serve reliably in church or other outlet, so perhaps this is something I should seriously consider. We'll see where this goes. 

Trying to get wireless ad-hoc ICS working on Linux via Windows Vista is a pain. Doubt anyone has any tips though I guess. It's annoying how I have a spare computer sitting next to me here, and it's doing nothing. Such a waste of an unlimited access to university internet, for illegal purposes or otherwise. Oops, in case you didn't hear, Facebook and blogs can be used against you in lawsuits now. =P

When it comes to relationships, I guess I have some pretty radical ideals. Conservative, naive, but as much as they may be, it's what I believe. Maybe that's why no one's bothered with me thus far. Too much time, effort, thought and work. Hard to understand, hard to grasp, hard to accept, yes, but it's worth it, believe me. So thank you, for understanding, where no one else has before.

Has got to watch a movie. And eat popcorn. Now. It's been way too long since the last time.

Touched.

I watched the world float to the 

Dark side of the moon 

After all I knew it had to be something 

To do with you 

I really don't mind what happens now and then 

As long as you'll be my friend at the end 

If I go crazy then will you still 

Call me Superman 

If I'm alive and well, will you be 

There holding my hand 

I'll keep you by my side with 

My superhuman might 

Kryptonite 

--------------------

This one's going to be a really rushed post... With the exam coming on this Friday, this time I'm fighting for more than just my own good results. I guess, whether it's of my own doing or not, there's a lot more riding on this CA than there normally is. Well, we'll see how it turns out this time around.

Oversensitivity, even to the point of self-deprecation... But you know, that's what I like about you. It's the reason why you're so sweet; even when others perceive in another light, you love; even at the expense of yourself. Don't lose that, special one. But at the same time, please trust me, and trust reason~, and give us a chance to take some of that! ; )

Thanks so much for Saturday, Lynette! I had a great time, I really did, and I don't think I've ever sung quite like I did that night. Definitely not in front of people... I probably made a fool of myself though, but somehow, it doesn't feel so bad... =)

Concentrating is getting really hard, ugh. I cannot have burned out after what, 4 days? Maybe I should just sleep, and it'll all be fine in the morning. Somehow. Which means I should really be going, now. 3 days to the exam and if I took the paper right now, I'll probably be better off guessing and scraping 25% for the MCQs. Help?

Next post after the CA... Brief respite, before the final exams looming. And the green pastures after that. Which somehow don't seem to last quite as long as we would wish. In the long run, it's just a repeating cycle... If we can't live with it now, how will it turn out after the same thing repeats, continuously, over months, years? Maybe we'll get better at it somehow. 

Cya.

Well I hope I never figure out

Who broke your heart

And baby if I do

Well I hope I never figure out

Who broke your heart

Baby if I do

Well I'd spend all night losing sleep

I'd spend the night and I'd lose my mind

If I spend the night then I lose my mind

Spend all night losing sleep

I'd spend the night and I'd lose my mind

If I spend the night then I lose my mind

Spend all night losing sleep

I'd spend the night and I'd lose my mind

If I spend the night then I lose my mind

--------------------

Reconciliation is a wonderful thing, isn't it. Miscommunication just breeds uncertainty, and uncertainty, misunderstanding. Sometimes I wonder, if everyone were just able to speak their minds freely, what sort of place we'd be living in... But then, I don't know if I'm capable of it, myself, or if I'd even want that, expect that of anyone. And sometimes I think the mystery, the suspense, it's intriguing in it's own, secret way. Nobody's open book, you say?

I wear a mask. I constantly modify it, little improvements, here and there, tweaking, optimising it for maximum performance. It's always improving, a work in progress. Behind my mask, are two faces. My mask comes off sometimes, to reveal one or the other, but let's just say, it doesn't happen much. None but a handful have seen them both. Then again, I think no one's really wondered what's behind the mask. Have I fine-tuned it to such great capacity, that it doesn't even seem like one any more? Even more remotely, the possibility that I'd want to take that mask off myself (never). I used to be able to assume all this to be true... Now, I'm not so sure. 

It's odd, but as a Christian, I guess I've never really been able to get along with most of my "brethren". I find, more often than not, aside from the fact that we worship the same God, our personalities, ideals, differ vastly. This apperas especially true (based on my own findings) with 1st generation Christians, or relatively new believers. Note, this is by no means true in all cases, in fact, I believe there are, and will be, exceptions. However, in the vast majority of cases, I simply can't seem to get along with them. It appears to me that many adhere to a certain group of personality trait(s), though I lack the means to obtain this information. It might have to do with my upbringing, possibly, though I can't be sure. I was brought up in a Christian home, yes, but it isn't long after mental maturity that you start to ask the question, "what is this all about?". And so, intrisically, there lies the first difference. I started out with all the information available to me, and I set out questing for the reasons why, from this side of the fence. This might explain my differing perception of many things, including sometimes, our own faith, with other believers. 

Thinking analytically, assuming I was not born into a Christian home, and everything still happened the same somehow... Then by this time in my life, I see myself either being a strong atheist, an agnostic (and deserving of the title), or at the very most, a skeptic in search of meaning. If no one bothered in that hypothetical life to take me gently by the hand, and show me the way patiently, slowly, and painstakingly, I'd never find God, short of a direct touch by God Himself. Not with a mind geared this way. I suppose, for this, I have to thank God. Being born into a Christian family made things a lot easier for me, and I'm glad for it. For one, my life would definitely have turned out vastly different without God's hand in it. But I suppose, as a result of this realisation, I've also found that when I encounter and get to know people, in whom I see one who resembles that hypothetical me, my heart goes out to them. 

The A level results release on Friday. All the best to every one of my former batch-mates, though I doubt any one of them are going to be reading my blog still... Except for you =) (If you are not a former batch-mate, do excuse the reference~). So best wishes, and don't worry, because there isn't a point to it. There's nothing to do now except wait patiently, calmly, and pray. Hold on, hold fast. 

My own exam's in 10 days. Unbelievable. It's incredible where all that time just disappeared to. I've really got to get a grip, stop with all the gaming/anime already and really get down to business, before it's too late to even do anything about it. The time is now. 

Peace.