Who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows? 
Only time...

And who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose? 
Only time...

Who can say why your heart sighs,
As your love flies? 
Only time...

And who can say why your heart cries,
When your love dies? 
Only time...

Who can say when the roads meet,
That love might be,
In your heart.

--------------------

Did I mention that I can't play poker? My hands shake so much when I'm taking risks that I become so readable. Yeah I can do the whole poker face, but my hands just give everything away. So now you know a secret. 

Visited New Creation Church on Sunday with my parents again after like 3 years, the church I was attending before I left for Australia. Haven't been back since I left. Somehow, it so felt homely and warm. Well, they say the grass always looks greener on the other side for a reason. 

Escape Theme Park with the OG on monday! Umm, honestly didn't expect much, having been there before, but it wasn't too bad... Didn't try the go-karts last time, or the water slide =P. The go-karts were lol, imo you could do races with them if someone would just fix/balance the different go-karts for speed and other relevant factors. Overtaking ftw is fun. The company was good too, the weather didn't get too hot, though there was this lethargy in the air... Still, I think we all had a good time. While exploring/experimenting with the effects of adrenaline rushes on ourselves xD. 

Bought myself a new mouse ^^ been wanting a proper one for gaming for ages, and finally here the opportunity is~ It was a Christmas present, of sorts... Anyway, pictures =)




Mine's actually green =)



The grip's a little different from what I'm used to though, it'll take some time to adjust I suppose. It feels a lot better than my old mouse in general though. And looks a lot cooler =P.

Met up with Lynette today, after what feels like forever. Caught Yes Man, which by the way wasn't bad, pretty much what you'd expect of Jim Carrey's insightful comedies. Still worth watching though, so if you're stuck for movies this holiday season... But then there's always Twilight. Which I haven't read yet, and thus would rather not watch at this point. Even then, word on the street is that it wasn't great, especially if you read the book already. Anyway, it was quite nice spending the day just walking around the city randomly and sitting at random places, talking, catching up. The weather did get pretty hot, and the city was unbelievably crowded for the day and time, but I still had fun. Some people are nice to talk to, and others are pleasant to be with... And then there are the rare few who are both =). But I really need to get more familiar with the places and my sense of direction in the city. Or more likely, I just can't multi-task. Well I can, but it just doesn't work with some tasks... >.<

Oh, if you happen to be a nerd/ geek/ anyone fascinated by tech (here's a clue, tesla coils involved)... Watch this video. For the rest of you, watch the fascinating video. Definitely worth the 90 seconds, guaranteed*. 10/10 from me, totally won me. 

*Mario Bros. experience helps. 

Hmm, next post should be soon. Going to try to do one for the impending new year. 

Goodbye.

In coffee city.

Posted at at 12/30/2008 11:41:00 PM on Tuesday, December 30, 2008 by Posted by Glen |   | Filed under:

Friend, it’s getting late 
We should be going 
We’ve been sat here beneath
These flickering neons for hours 

While I am cracking their code
You are deciphering me 
For I am a mystery
I am a locked room in a tall tower 

Oh can you feel the gravity falling
Calling us home 
Oh did you see the stars colliding
Shining just to show 
We belong
We belong

--------------------

I've been putting this post off for way too long. Now too much has happened, and I won't be able to blog properly. Sigh, WoW is to blame. In combination with the slew of events in the past few days since I got back. I'll try though.

I'll start with the remainder of the trip in Sri Lanka. I suppose most memorable was the day before the day we flew off. We went for an evening Christmas mass at a friend's catholic church, where many of my dad's childhood friends were singing in the choir. And damn, the choir was incredible. I could sit for ages just listening to the choir singing, with nothing else. Althogh the church organ came in later for some songs, but still it was great. Really enjoyed that, I somehow love listening to harmony. After that went to this super nice restaurant/cafe, called The Gallery Cafe. Modern art gallery transformed into a cafe/restaurant, the idea was brilliant. The result was an outdoorish sort of modern look, with ornate sculptures and beautiful artwork adorning the place. The atmosphere, mood, food was all excellent... For just a while, I could actually have forgotten that I was in Sri Lanka. So stark was the contrast. Made me wonder how such places still exist in third world countries like these. How can there be a separate world in the form of places like these, when not two streets away beggars line the roads?

Hmm, had a night flight, was pretty exhausted by the time I got back to Singapore in the morning... Breakfast with family, and then we went our separate ways. This presented an interesting situation. Parents and sis would be in Singapore, but due to (obvious) space constraints, will not be able to live with me, as I did with them when I went back to Australia (in my own room~). Consequently, the place they're staying at, with my aunt, is fully maxxed out at an additional three people. Cramming a fourth person would not only be squeezy, but also impractical. Hence, I would go back to my room in NUS, and they would stay on in my aunt's place. Then the question arises: How often is would we be meeting up? How often is acceptable? While I imagine this situation isn't exactly unique, as many probably would be able to understand in some way, if not experienced it through a similar situation. Keep reading.

After getting back, I knocked myself out on the internet (you have no idea what it feels like, deprived! Lol not really, but still).  In this day and age, being disconnected from the world for a week is akin. No phone, no internet, it's almost scary. And then, it's scary that being away from everything for just a week is scary. Out of touch with the wider world, and with my own inner world that is my life, and then with my guild and happenings in-game, even deeper in. How dependant have we become on crutches, crippling ourselves with luxuries...

Went night cycling on the 23rd night, with the OG. Good fun, and despite not having night cycled before (or even touching a bicycle for the better part of 5 years), I managed to adapt sufficiently to be able to participate properly. Unfortunately, it rained at about 2am, but thankfully (magically) we chanced upon a 24 hour prata shop, where we bided our time... Until the morning light. The rain didn't end up stopping, so there we sat. While I do realise our primary objective was to night cycle, I believe that the night was still enriching. Those of us who managed to keep awake just ended up talking. Sometimes, it takes circumstances like these, in the dead of night, to see the side of people they don't normally show. Over the years I've developed something of an ability to read people, for better or worse. But sometimes, the only thing that some people reveal is that what you're seeing is just a facade. As for the inner person, it's rare times like these that you see them. Due to the nature of our circumstances, the conversation was forced down the way of passage that all "deeper" conversations must first pass in such a social setting, allowing eventually for the lead up to the deliciously enlightening topics, and the views individuals hold of them. Life, the Universe, and Everything sums it up nicely, though it really can be broken down into specifics; emotions, relationships, dreams... (Ok, I know that's not very specific at all, but hey, one has make some attempt at preserving the sacredness of that night). But yeah, it was also warming, in an odd sort of way, to be able to see and listen to everyone with one level of inhibitions removed. It renewed my faith in humanity, somewhat. 

Christmas at my cousin's place, with the relatives, grandparents (who flew over to Singapore (Yes, after we just flew to Sri Lanka and back)), parents and everybody. Mum actually went out shopping for all the lovely Christmas treats and goodies. Reminded me a bit of the old times when we still lived in Singapore. There were the turkey and the ribs, the cheeses and the wine, among other things... Always loved Christmas feasts. Anyway, we stayed late into the night (at which point I was pretty zombified, having not slept the night before due to the night cycling...), and then got up next day for church. Which was pretty good as well, the Christmas play was very well done, as it always is. And even the usual shortened Christmas message wasn't stereotypical or lame/boring. I think mum, having not been back at City Harvest for ages, felt that even that short sermon was really good, lol.

Went to Nick's place for the OG barbecue on Boxing day... It was really nice of him to open his house up like that, but unfortunately not many people were able to turn up, due to various commitments, overseas or otherwise. Still, the few of us who went had an enjoyable time... Well what can I say, most of them are just pretty fun to be around in general =). And Nick's room needs nerfs. It was incredibly, impossibly neat. Seriously. Jealousy!! Probably explained his aversion at the state of my room here... Hey, I'm pretty sure my real room back home never got this bad anyway, since it was, a real room. Ok, I have nothing to back that up with. Maybe evidence contrary instead ><.

The rest of my holidays are just going to be a mad rush of more outings/events/meetings with family/relatives/friends, as well as getting my raiding schedule with guildmates settled proper haha. This has probably been my most packed holidays ever... Generally, I always have this feeling that I wasted my holidays somewhat. But at the same time, I'd be refreshed and energised and ready for the new term. Wonder what the feeling at the end of it will be like. 

Merry (Belated) Christmas.

Posted at at 12/27/2008 12:33:00 AM on Saturday, December 27, 2008 by Posted by Glen |   | Filed under:

I wanna know where children would go
If they never learnt to be cool
Cos nothing's achieved when pushed up a sleeve
Till nobody thinks you're a fool

So goodbye for a while I'm out to learn more
About who I really was before
Yeah I'm going north

Up where the hunted hide with ease
Under the arms of eye-less trees
Up where the answers fall like leaves
Oh and your love is all I need

--------------------

Yes! Hello all from Sri Lanka in this speical edition post~. Miraculously, I realised it was possible to obtain internet access from the hotel (when you purchase their prepaid internet cards for outrageous prices). The only real alternative lies in sourcing out a local internet café, which we did. Only, I discovered to my horror that the computers there were a) terribly slow and laggy, b) so spyware and porn infested that I didn't dare to sign in/enter my passwords. At least they were running XP, but on minimum specifications... Sigh, I knew I should have been suspicious when they charged about 30 cents per hour (after conversion) -.-". So here I am in the hotel room with my clean and secure laptop (so grateful). 

Mm, yeah so it's been a while since I posted, and haven't since the exams ended. Really don't want to talk about it, yet my stupid answers still surface in my mind at the worst times, haunting me. Just thinking about it's making me depressed right now. I might fail anatomy this time, mark my words. No more about exams. (Omg, can't believe it. Shoot me. It really was that bad.)

Anyway, I finally met up with parents and sis, after my exams that day! Sort of sad that I missed the Sentosa outing/dinner with OG mates, heard it was fun though =P... But it was so good to see everyone again. We went out for a nice dinner (Italian! Super nice food, and I realised that when I'm with mum and dad is the only chance I get to enjoy real Italian food =/) , and it's like so much has changed. I think it's roughly summarised in this: instead of two wine glasses on the table, now there are three. Believe me, if you're someone who has dinner with your parents often, there are so many things you won't realise you missed when you're away until you meet them again. All the little jokes, idiosyncracies, the feelings just came flooding back. Somehow, it's different this time around from when I went back to Australia about half a year ago... Maybe it's because they're here this time, and I'm not all dazed and out of touch with the world from my army experience. But yeah, as sis aptly put it: it's no fun when there's no one around to get the jokes =/ lol. 

Anyway, after dinner and stuff, I had like a 12 hour window in which I had to pack up my bags, settle anything outstanding in between the exams and my flight the next day afternoon. Well, I really wasn't in any state to be efficient with that kind of time, especially dead after the exam, but push it I did. Unfortunately, posting didn't make it high enough in the priority list lol. But that's why this post now, saving grace! As you can expect, I conked out on the plane (or more accurately, I entered the semi-waking twilight zone that happens when I try to sleep on planes. Never really manage a proper sleep.)

Well, our hotel is nice though, and the suite's exquisite. It's got the priceless sea view and everything, photos next post~ (no promises, as usual). At the same time, I had the opportunity to go out for a walk in the streets. I've got to say, seeing poverty rampant is truly a depressing sight. I don't know how much more I'll see before the feeling becomes dampened (or if it ever will). It's been so long since I've seen such a sight, and it really got to me =/. Well, at least this time, I know I'm on my way to do something about it. As some of you may know, the real reason for the trip was to celebrate my grandma's 75th birthday. That was the day after we arrived, Wednesday two days ago. Therefore, first two days = stressing over speech (making people give speeches is such an evil thing to do. Really.) The thing itself was sort of boring, as these things usually. Lots of old people, sis and I rot in a corner. We met a second cousin of ours though, roughly our age and relatively competent, so that wasn't too bad. 

The rest of the time so far has just been slacking around and catching up with family. It's been great, but somehow it drops down back to normal pretty fast. After the first two days or so, it doesn't feel like we've been away for all that time. Hmmm, is familiarity such a powerful factor in relationship? I suppose I never really had the chance for it to dawn on me so strikingly before... Definitely something to think about. 

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to make use of the rest of my limited timed internet connectivity. Dad's out to see his parents, sis and mum are out shopping >.>. I fear a similar fate in the coming days. If not here, then back in Singapore. But for now, perfect opportunity >:D

En-si.

Edit: this post was actually written at the stated post time... Apologies for the late publish, due to... Technical difficulties. 

Posted at at 12/19/2008 05:32:00 PM on Friday, December 19, 2008 by Posted by Glen |   | Filed under:

Caught in the undertow being swept downstream
Going against the flow seems like such a dream
Trying to hold your ground when you start to slide
Pressure to compromise comes from every side
Wise up rise up

You can be more than a conqueror, you will never face defeat
You can dare to win by losing all, you can face the heat, dare to
Beat the system

--------------------

I really don't have the time to do this post. Really don't know why I'm doing it. Habits die hard I suppose. I'll make it short.

Well, parents and sis arrived last night. Nope, didn't go meet them. We've kept it to sms's, which I find really impressive actually. Even then, they've been so tactful and thoughtful about the whole thing, that I feel almost shameful for all the inefficiency in my studying routine. Sometimes I wonder how worthy I am of all the good intentions and thoughtfulness of people. It might not be based on how worthy I am in the first place, but it still makes one think.

I haven't been as effective at studying as I planned out. While I tend to despise limiting and restricting myself to solid physical allotments of time, I find that subconsciously, when I'm limited with time, I end up forming some pretty impressive schedules and deadlines in my head. And the whole thing's prioritised, grouped, and a host of other factors all taken into account. The one problem is, it's subscious. The fact that it's metaphysical a barrier - I end up falling behind in that amazing schedule/timetable I fashion for myself in my head. It's a shame really, but I really do hate writing this stuff out and sticking it. It's suffocating. 

Well, as a result, I actually cannot afford to take any "breaks" (which get really long after a while... And distracting...) tomorrow, if I even want a shot at finishing what I had hoped to get done before the exam on Monday morning. I really don't know how ready I am, and the uncertainty doesn't help much. Never done a physiology exam before, not quite sure what to expect out of it either. The fact that the anatomy component is sort of incomplete this time around as well, it really doesn't help. Sometimes I think I really need to re-learn the art of trusting God again. Being thrown into a relative comfort zone does have it's negative effects, especially when you realise it's almost anything but that.

After Monday, it'll be non-stop all the way until I get on the plane on Tuesday to Sri Lanka: meeting family, packing up, etc (playing WoW~). And then I won't be back until the Monday after. If I get the chance to post before then (after my exams), well, you'll see it. Otherwise... Well, MSNing me during the brief 24 hour window works =), if I don't start a conversation first =P

I've got to get back to studying. I can't afford to let my sleep cycle get disrupted now: it is, after all, the night before the night before the day of the exams >.>

Wish me well.

Posted at at 12/14/2008 12:44:00 AM on Sunday, December 14, 2008 by Posted by Glen |   | Filed under:

I was blindfolded, but now I'm seeing. 
My mind was closing, now I'm believing. 
I finally know what just what it means to let someone in, 
To see the side of me that no one does or ever will. 
So if your ever lost and find yourself all alone 
I'd search forever just to bring you home, 
Here and now, this I vow 

By now you know that I'd come for you,
No one but you, yes I'd come for you, 
But only if you told me to. 
And I'd fight for you, 
I'd lie, it's true. 
Give my life for you 
You know i'd always come for you.

--------------------

Hmm... It's been some time since I've had post out of compulsion (I believe I've run out of time since the last post...), but post I shall. It seems quite odd, given that I'm actually supposed to have a lot more time, since I stopped playing WoW for the exams (Truth!). I expected it might come to this, but not this soon... Oh well, it's only a 2 weeks hiatus, nothing special. (Except it's just after the WotLK release omg... I'm falling behind T.T)

The initial idea was this: Given how much time I have the tendency to spend on WoW, then technically, removing  it from the picture should result in a large influx of time, which I would then make use of to study for the upcoming exam, here in a week's time. Sadly, I failed to recognise that time is a dynamic entity, and doesn't like being fitted into moulds, for example: 3 free hours + 3 hours (freed suddenly from a drastic change of habit) does not equal 6 free hours. Essentially: time tends to fill itself up somehow. You can get rid of things taking up time, but it doesn't give you a 100% return, not even 75%. Hell, not even 5- Ok, I'll stop. Basically, I think I need some sort of enzyme or harness to efficiently contain the freed time, lest it disappear into the nether, along with all the lost hours of my day. Timetable, you say? Meh. 

Parents and sis are arriving soon! 13th of December I believe, give or take. Argh... Miss them quite a lot at times, I realise. The cumulative effect of being away takes a toll after a while =/. Morose evenings and lonely nights: it's no wonder I look to the computer more than ever, my window to the world. Anyway, the thing is, with my coming exam on the 15th of December, their arrival has the potential to become something of an... Inconvenience. My parents know of this, and being the rational people they are (amazing how your views change when you're away from people huh?), told me specifically not to come down to the airport to recieve them, of their own accord. But since then I've heard some alternative viewpoints, persuading me otherwise. Is it right, simply allowing my parents to stealthily fly in, and hide out in Singapore until I finish my exams, before they come out and we meet properly? How hard is it just to appear at the airport? While I do see where these contentions come from, it doesn't quite sit well with me. I suppose I'm rather non-traditional and non-cultural in my thinking and beliefs: in my opinion, if my parents are matured enough tell me honestly not to come down (And I say matured. None of that disgusting "saying one thing and meaning the other" crap), I can be gracious enough to accept that thoughtful gesture. I believe in tradition, just not to the point where it becomes antagonistic. After which I do away with it, especially when the feeling is mutual. It's so easy with family... Sometimes I wish everyone were that simple. 

I'd like to highlight Thursday in particular: most packed day I've ever had in ages. Lectures in the morning, Formative Assessment (pre-CA test) for Anatomy in the afternoon, which somehow wasn't as bad as the last two. I actually passed this one. Then there was this batch photo-taking session after that, which was sort of cool, since everyone was dressed formal and stuff. And then I almost broke my arm during the informal shots. Basically: front rows, girls. Back rows, guys. You don't want to know what the back rows were like, felt like, during the informal shots. I'll leave it there. Anyway, had clinicals after that, which was like one and a half hours of standing (It's not much fun after you've just had a full day, and you're totally dehydrated). We were auscultating patient's hearts with stethoscopes: I think they would have had more fun auscultating mine. Palpitations, tachycardia, some hypotension, you name it. I don't know why I was so dehydrated, sometimes I do forget to get a drink though, especially when things move too fast. Anyway, I survived. 

And after our clinicals... Went down to Starbucks with Wei Ling, for FREE COFFEE! I chanced upon the information while queueing for lunch (lol, random), and turned out she was going to Starbucks too, and knew a coffee place that was pretty nearby/near her house/relatively isolated. Let me just say: 

Free coffee = WIN. Kthxbye.





Says it all. So we went down to the isolated Starbucks, to find... A queue that spanned halfway across the width of the building. It moved pretty quick though, soon got my hands on a Tall (yeah, no Venti this time :< ... Not complaining though~) cup of revitalising caffeine. I didn't exactly grab it scott free, but at least my money went to the Salvation Army. 

The caffeine shot was a good thing: I then had to head down to some condominium in Bukit Batok, for Zhen Le's 21st birthday (one of my cell members)... I wouldn't have turned up, not exactly very close to most of my cell group, since I can't really attend the meetings, but she asked me specifically, and I wasn't really in a position to say no (I know her a bit better than the rest I suppose), so... That was a bus --> train --> change train --> walk --> bus just to get there, and I was still in my formal attire. Carrying my stuff. Sort of glad I made it down in the end I guess, cell members were around etc. So it wasn't too boring. And one of them started playing WoW without telling me! Bah... That's 1 free month gone! Please tell me if you're planning to start WoW lol~

Awkward moment as I was leaving... I was taking my leave and saying goodbyes, and she was thanking me for coming down. That somehow ended with a misplaced and rather inadequate handshake... I would have given a hug (as is rather routine back in Australia! In case I lost a few readers there), and she half looked like she was expecting one, but... I'm still learning how things work over here. In terms of adaptation, by far it's so much harder the other way around. Singapore --> Australia = liberation, Australia --> Singapore = constraint. Only 3 years gone and I'm an awkward wreck already. Anyway, touch at the shoulder both ways dispelled the tension, and I went on my way. Bus --> walk --> train --> change train --> bus (hilariously long route for somewhere so close by on the map isn't it). After the walk back to my room, I promptly collapsed, D.O.A. I believe it was close to 12am, though I can't quite be sure, given the state I was in. 

Trying very hard to focus with the studying, it helps when I've actually got practice questions this time around. I feel more familiar working with them, especially for something like physiology, which is really quite akin to the biology I did back in Melbourne (ironically, not the biology people did here). 1 week to go, max dps~! More DoTs, more DoTs! Can't believe it's almost 2 weeks to Christmas. Really, unbelievable. That soon? Feels more like Easter or something, some random holiday in the middle of nowhere. Festive what? If anyone else can identify, it's my dear classmates lol. 

Hmmm, I think I'm switching to Chrome, over Firefox 3.1. Simply irresistible. I've been bought. 

/bye.

Posted at at 12/07/2008 12:38:00 AM on Sunday, December 7, 2008 by Posted by Glen |   | Filed under:

How long before I get in?
Before it starts, before I begin?
How long before you decide?
Before I know what it feels like?
Where To, where do I go?
If you never try, then you'll never know.
How long do I have to climb,
Up on the side of this mountain of mine?

Look up, I look up at night,
Planets are moving at the speed of light.
Climb up, up in the trees,
every chance that you get,
is a chance you seize.
How long am I gonna stand,
with my head stuck under the sand?
I'll start before I can stop,
before I see things the right way up.

--------------------

Alone and in an isolated corner, a cowled figure sat almost completely still, as if lost in thought. The scant common room was almost empty of patrons, and embers burned low on the hearth. The few remaining spoke or diced in hushed voices, unwilling to disturb the uneasy silence that had settled like a blanket over the tavern.

Few glanced in his direction, but those who did noticed the shape of a sword beneath his travel-worn cloak, and an air about him which said he knew it well. Others noticed his unconscious twitching and shuffling, his over-tight grip and stiff posture, belying his facade. Neither view warranted any trouble, which suited his purposes.

He took another long draw of the strong but foul-tasting concoction, barely feeling it's burn despite his parched throat. With his other hand, he gripped a small parcel tighter to his form, knuckles white with the effort. But for all the glances he got, no one noticed his eyes.

A brilliant blue, and together with his angular features, he might have passed as off as a lord, or at least nobility once. Now those beautiful eyes were marred by a raw haggardness, that spoke of grief and anguish, and of fear. Yet they were cold, the eyes of a hard man. Bloodshot and sleepless; yet they were the eyes of a dangerous man constantly alert, watching, searching. But above all, they were the eyes of a hunted man.

The man took his leave from the inn at the crack of dawn, the dirt streets already held the signs of the brink another day, criers and vendors and bakers heralding the morning. But the man's attention was directed back at the road from which he came, one final glance he allowed himself. It was there he buried the last of his companions, and his closest friend, his body so mutilated from vileness and poison. A death he refused to believe was inevitable. Yet as he buried Arle, all he could see were the faces of his wife and son, and then of his own wife and their unborn child. But eventually, his thoughts always returned to the parcel.

Responsibility weighed heavily upon him that day. Almost as heavily as the parcel he clutched tightly against his breast, and it's contents. Yet, all thought and inhibitions forsaken, he turned and strode deliberately away, and onward. Faithlessly, and with hope in shreds, but flying onward; on wings of stone. And upon them rode the fate of humanity.


It's been so long since I wrote anything at all creatively, and it really does bring the memories back, when I used to love English as a subject, and it wasn't really all about grades. I also believe I'm losing these already lost skills, and my creativity. Rapidly. Maybe I picked the wrong life if I wanted to keep apparently pointless things like these, tragedy though it be. I'm not going down without a fight though.

The last week's just been a tumble of randomness. We didn't have any formal lectures this entire week, so it was just restricted to pracs/tutorials. Which sort of made for a pretty unrestrained timetable for me. I liked it. Although I must say things do get pretty topsy-turvy when you don't have any true schedule to follow, just your own convictions left. Freedom overdose? Can't be a good thing, something tells me.

Anyway, as you'd expect, I haven't exactly been absenting myself from WoW yet, but yet somehow I feel like I actually advanced a little studies wise too, which was part of the grand scheme. Seems like the whole keeping updated idea isn't going too bad. Few random study sessions, with a few different people. I think I'm getting my head around the concepts eventually, and I think that's half of physiology, the other half being incorporating the details into the concepts. It's tying up the odd ends that I forsee is going to become an issue leading up to the exam.

Celebrated Runyu's birthday in school on Thursday, LOL it was a bit of a disaster, what with the lighter failing and Runyu arriving before anyone could react, no cake knife, wrong candles, but in the end it turned out cool =). Props to all the people who made this possible, and special props to those who got the stuff done, you know who you are ^^!

Went swimming after that again, and I'm pleased to report: I managed not to die this time. Well, it was close. Does conking out for 4 hours+ straight after that count? Hmm... At least there wasn't any of the whole nausea/terrible hangover feeling in general. At least it's a sign my body's finally waking up. Thanks for going swimming Chin Ee, I really can't see myself going alone anytime soon >.<.

I realised something the other day while chatting about stuff, whenever I think about mum and dad and sis, I seem only to remember the good things. Even though I'm so sure there were a whole host of negative things I should be able to recall, it's like I can't find it somehow, or it's muted or scaled down. Note: this only happens when I'm not currently communicating with them in any way =/. Perhaps it's a sign i'm actually missing them >.<... Sigh, it really will be quite a crazy rush after my exam's over though, and maybe sometime in there we'll manage to reconcile the past 6 months somehow. Sometimes I just don't feel like I was cut out to move out of home this early. Other times I just avoid that fact completely.

Everyone's finishing their exams, in both Singapore and Australia, and the poor people in Med are feeling it ><. So yes, while I know you've finished your exams, and share your resulting joy (really), try not to forget my pain is just beginning =P

I really should go, I can feel the late-night high coming on. While it's not necessarily a bad thing, it does imply that I'm up a lot later than I should be. 3am as I end this.

Cheers.

Posted at at 11/29/2008 02:15:00 AM on Saturday, November 29, 2008 by Posted by Glen |   | Filed under:

Something's getting in the way
Something's just about to break
I will try to find my place 
In the diary of Jane

As I burn another page
As I look the other way
I still try to find my place 
In the diary of Jane
So tell me how it should be

--------------------

Hmm, this week hasn't been too eventful in terms of school... More on cardiovascular physiology, which is starting to kill people with the levels of complexity it goes to. Maybe I should put in a bit more revision on my part... Somehow it feels like I have the whole topic at the tip of my brain, but can't quite put my hand on it, and can't apply the concepts practically either ><. Physiology feels like the type of topic that I would go find tuition for, a good tutor would definitely... Oh wait. 

Went for two suppers this week on both Wednesday and Thursday, and they were pretty fun, with a few of the OG people staying at uni, in KE Hall or PGP. They ended really late though, as if I need another reason to have late nights... Still, I'd do it again soon =P we missed the special chicken on Thursday at Sheares' Hall during supper! We've got to go again soon, and preorder this time lol.

Our results were released on Thursday, and somehow I didn't do too badly. At all. In fact, I did so incredibly well that I was a bit taken aback, since it meant that they either changed the answers for the Biochem MCQs, or gave me full marks (or over 100%) for both my essays. Next morning: "Dear M1s, there are some errors in the marks for CA1A. Please disregard the marks." from the Dean's Office. Fail. The real marks came this weekend, and though they were pretty ouch >.<, it's not like I didn't see it coming. Hmm.

I've cut down so much on gaming that it's starting to feel a bit weird. Everyone's busy rushing to level 80 since WotLK released, and here I am taking my time about it. Which is when I sort of realised how much time I created just by not gaming. With all that extra time, think of how much more effective with my time I could be! I'd have more time for everything else, more time to pick up things I had to drop, and greater levels of concentration, not to mention better sleeping patterns! Meh, back to WoW. Level 74, gogo~

I finally went swimming on Friday, with Xu Sheng and Chin Ee. This marks the first time (since almost forever) that I actually went and got some actual exercise of my own accord. Why swimming, when I could just run or something easier? I suppose it's because of my swimming background, from waaay back. Army made me dislike running, not that I really liked it in the first place or anything. I could come to at least tolerate it again I guess, given the right factors, starting with it being voluntary. But for now, I don't think I could run to save my life. Literally. The depressing thing was, after that swim (which was so much more exhausting than I ever remember it being), I felt terrible (to be expected, with all the lack of exercise, but still). The thing about swimming, the real exhaustion only kicks in after you stop and get out of the water. It really was quite bad, but Xu Sheng and Chin Ee were helpful and cool about it. The worst part? It was only after a mere 10 or so laps. Already dead. It eventually came out talking to Michelle, and then I really almost died of embarrassment T_T. But fie, deterrence! I've got to keep this up relatively regularly at least before my muscles and CVS adjust to the load again. It's theoretically an effective use of my time anyway, not to mention good for me... And isn't it ironic that I finally got to exercising while we're studying about the heart, lol.

Just got back from spending the whole afternoon and evening at the Asia Conference 08, currently hosted by my church. Today it was Benny Hinn, and the session was amazing (as are most of Benny Hinn's rallies), even though we couldn't get a seat in the main auditorium due to insane queues. The anointing of God is so strong on him, and when it resonates with the whole atmosphere and aniointing in the service, miracles just happen, and the power of God just moves in incredible ways, especially in the area of healing, which he's well known for. The whole experience was even more special, since this time I was looking on through the eyes of a medical student. You just don't normally see people with osteoarthritis due in for a total knee replacement drop their crutches and run around, or paraplegics just get up out of wheelchairs and walk, to name a few. Quite logic-defying really, especially for people in the medical profession. But it's always great to see such anointing manifest out of the spiritual and into the physical. Sometimes has the tendency to wake you up to how real and powerful God is and can be in our lives. 

Next week is cool, no lectures!! Instead, it's just a series of pracs/tutorials, so everyone sort of has a variable timetable based on which groups they're in. I think it's just sort of a "catch your breath" week, and damn do we need one. I have to go retake a first aid test which I failed though -.-"

It's super late lol, the meeting ended at 10.30pm, and with the resulting rush of people to the station (the MRT platform was so full that you couldn't even go up the escalator and stand ON the platform), I didn't get back until about 1am. 

Night.

Posted at at 11/23/2008 02:19:00 AM on Sunday, November 23, 2008 by Posted by Glen |   | Filed under:

Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
Yesterday is a promise that you've broken
Don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes,
This is your life
And today is all you've got now
And today is all you've ever had
Don't close your eyes

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything that you dreamed
that it would be when the world was younger,
and you had everything to lose?

--------------------

Hey all, I wanted to post yesterday but apologies... I was so dead tired and exhausted after Sunday's ordeal that I just dropped everything and slept for a full 10 hours until this morning, in time for school. I don't know when the last time was that I slept for so long before a school day. More on that later.

WoTLK is finally out! I went down on Friday after school to pick up the game at launch site. I didn't really know what to expect when I got there, but I honestly didn't expect what I was met with. 1.5km long queue? Nope. The entrance had a queue sticking out of it, so I was like "Ok, that's pretty normal right, it's Singapore..." and the queue wound around a corner. I go around a corner - wow, there's still a queue? Keep walking down, turning corners... After turning about 10 corners and snaking around the back-ways of clarke quay, I sort of gave up and just kept walking. And walking. All the way to the start of the queue. I ended up queuing for about two hours, but it wasn't so bad somehow. Maybe the atmosphere was pretty good, everyone was pretty cool about it... Though it was sort of funny seeing people's reactions as they rounded the bends up as they followed the queue from the entrance. Most wore shocked expressions, others cursing under their breath. What I found was interesting was the guy:girl ratio, which was really low (about 10 guys for every girl), but somehow still more than I expected. I guess more girls play WoW than you'd expect O.o (though a part of those made up girlfriends, who I sort of felt slightly sorry for).

So yeah, the rest of my free time (not much) has been spent slowly making my way through the new levels. Another reason for doing this post late: I can now talk about the birthday preparations we did on Saturday, since we just celebrated it today =P. A few of us went down to get presents/consolidate ideas for Huiting's and Nikki's birthdays (on Sunday and Monday respectively). It turned out quite well, and we managed to get what we were looking for, plus dinner and a good time just chilling/chatting for the few of us who stayed after.

I also got my hands on some swimming goggles, to replace my mysteriously misplaced pair (which made me quite mad, after I almost went for a swim only to find my goggles decided to lose themselves). There are few things emotionally worse than resolving your mind to do something, and then being disappointed because for some reason you couldn't do it, or didn't in time. I was really quite mad about that, overtly so in fact, such that I realised how long it had been since I got actually angry about anything. Hmm. Something to reflect on. Quadriple alliteration.

Went for that chess tournament on Sunday, met up with a few people from the team and went down together. The thing is, even though I wasn't really taking the tournament too seriously, just as practice and fun more than anything, the whole day was just sort of wrong. We came back too late from the lunch break, only to find I had 7 minutes left on my clock vs a full 25 on my opponent's. Obviously gg (although ALL my friends who were also late back from lunch won that round!!). Then I had a bout of acid reflux about 2 rounds after, that got bad to the point that I couldn't play properly, lost my last two rounds and then vomited twice after. The reflux was still bad after that, and I couldn't eat/drink anything at all. I bought some antacids, but they didn't help that much. My friends asked if I was ok, and I said I would be. Then mum and sis asked if I was ok, I told them not to fuss. Yet I struggled with the urge to vomit, cramping abdominal pains, all the way to my aunt's place after that to collect the stuff I ordered (yay!), and all the way back to my residence. Where I shortly collapsed on my bed and didn't wake up until the next day, and Sunday felt like a forgotten dream, my incredibly empty stomach, the aftertaste of a nightmare.

The birthday surprise today turned out great, and I'm quite glad it did, especially since so much effort went into it, from a few people especially.

Sometimes I wonder how qualified to give advice I really am. According to some people, I give good advice. I don't even know why. I only recently realised how hard it was for me to follow my own advice... People wonder how I'm so optimistic. I look inward and realise... I'm not. What is this that comes out then, especially when i'm trying to be helpful?

I think I'll just sleep. I actually managed to stay awake through all of today's lectures, quite a feat. Sleep does wonders.

Good night.

Posted at at 11/17/2008 11:05:00 PM on Monday, November 17, 2008 by Posted by Glen |   | Filed under:

This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.
Aperture Science
We do what we must
because we can.
For the good of all of us.
Except the ones who are dead.
But there's no sense crying over every mistake.
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
And the Science gets done.
And you make a neat gun.
For the people who are still alive.

--------------------

Hey all, feels like ages since I last posted (probably because it has been...). Well, it's not like there's been much happening anyway. Standard stuff (I just realised a lot of my reader base probably doesn't really know what "standard" consists of anymore... I shall try to clear that up at some point in future).

Oh, signed up for some basic language classes with the rest of the Year 1s, in Malay and Hokkien. The main purpose being to better communicate with patients in the wards I guess. I question how much 6 lessons will be able to do though, but at least after that you can't say you didn't try. I also wonder whether I would be better off in the Chinese classes. I know they'll all not be able to speak Chinese at all, but at my current level, my intuition tells me I'm not that far off. I think it's sort of sad, the state that my Chinese is in at the moment. Technically, I shouldn't be that much worse off. I studied Chinese like everyone else until Sec 2, I've just... Been away from it for some time. What makes it worse is that, due to my only semi-chinese heritage, people tend to forgive me for not being able to speak decent chinese. I'm so certian that contributes somehow. Besides, I get sort of sick of seeing the same incredulous looks on people's faces when I absolutely have to speak chinese, and do, like at the canteen the other day.

So the canteen aunty, who is currently in conversation with two Chinese exchange students (in madarin, of course) is like "Yes?" to me in English (with an accent that says she doesn't really speak it), and I just say "Can I get that?". Then she fumbles, explains to the girls in Chinese that they weren't selling what I asked for anymore, then imploring them to explain it to me. One of them turns to me, fumbles herself, tries in vain to get it out to me. That's about the point I gave up. I politely address the aunty (in Chinese now), tell her that "it's ok if she doesn't have that, can you get me -name of dish- (can't remember, sorry) instead?" The two girls were like wow, you speak chinese?! Those reactions aren't so bad, but the aunty... She just looked at me, eyes wide like saucers, nods, and disappears into the kitchen. She never said another word to me. I could feel her eyes boring into my back as I walked away with the food.

I've had mixed reactions, back in the day when I was less conscious of the subconscious social marginilisation that goes on in minds of the less educated, older generation especially. I will use order-taking as an example, since this was primarily my form of interaction with this category of the public. I might just decide to place my order in chinese, just for the fun of the reaction on people's faces. Some of them refuse to acknowledge that I just spoke to them in Chinese: they are momentarily stunned, then promptly answer me again in English. They obviously understood me (and were thus able to answer), but when they take most of their orders in Chinese anyway, I can think of no other explanation. I've had both extremes I suppose, ranging from no reaction at all, they just carry on taking the order in Chinese (respect to them), to being stared out, and then outright ignored.

Oh, I managed to get my hands on Portal (thanks to David's Steam account), and finally play it through, finally after 6 months. It didn't take very long at all, just a few hours (which is super short to complete a whole game) It was good though =P it had some of the wittiest lines ever, a groundbreaking "portal" concept that made use of the Half-Life 2 physics engine (concerning portals, and physics and the conservation of motion~), and the funniest storyline (without much depth, but still getting you hooked in the process). Managed to combine Puzzle/Action into an FPS (First-Person Shooter), which I think was quite well done on Valve's part. I highly recommend it! (Although I just realised that 90% of my readers probably aren't gamers, and the other 10% don't care enough to read this blog. Oh wait.) Hmm. (Yes, I've been thinking a lot about my reader base lately lol).

One thing that struck me after hearing a psychiatrist speak at VCF today (which was quite enlightening - missions are an inner state of being, not an external one), a lot of my inner reflections seems to hinge over the human psyche, with the occasional outlier. Questions and thoughts that would be much better understood with a grasp of even basic psychology. It's definitely something that's taken my interest before, and, it appears, still does. Perhaps I have yet to have my final brush with the field.

Oh yeah, I don't know what possessed me to, but I somehow ended up registering for a chess tournament this Sunday. After not having played in one for... I've even lost track how long, I wonder how it'll turn out. Looks like I'll get a look at the Singapore chess scene once again. Sort of curious what it's like, and how it's evolved since an age past. I'll probably get trashed, but our team captain recommended that we all go, and it will be a good practice/experience, so why not... Especially since I'm like the only one not having exams at this time as well.

WoTLK, the expansion to WoW, releases on Friday, the 14th of November in Singapore (Thursday in the US)! I think I'll be able to go down to the launch venue for the event, should be fun... Too bad I don't really have anyone else to go down with =/

Lol, it really was short this time.

Good night.



The cake is a lie.
The cake is a lie.
The cake is a lie.
The cake is a lie.

Posted at at 11/11/2008 10:50:00 PM on Tuesday, November 11, 2008 by Posted by Glen |   | Filed under:

The sun likes to rise and the moon likes to fall
And that's kinda like my life
I've played the role of the nice girl next door
Who gets cut like a knife
Now I'm not looking for apology eyes
And I don't want to spend a night on a bed of beautiful lies
Erase and rewind leave that sick girl behind and fast forward, fast forward

A thousand days

The girl I used to be
Has a terrible case of mistaken identity
And yesterday's girl is not what you see
It's a terrible case of mistaken identity

--------------------

Yes! This post is itself a small victory. It may also just be small. But you never know I suppose. I do have a habit of writing terribly long posts... But that might have been a side effect of holding everything in during the week.

Anyway! Lots happened over the weekend, started off with Playhouse on Saturday, a series of drama productions by each of the year levels in our faculty (Medicine), a competition of sorts in itself, and at the same time part of a bigger one. I suppose most of all, it was just for fun and the experience, in which I heard it delivered. A few of us went down on Saturday evening to suppose Feifan and Ben, who were both involved in our Year 1 drama =D. Argh, didn't get to see you guys on the day, but it was great! Michelle brought flowers too, which I thought was really sweet ^^. We got there, waited for like 30 minutes to find that they were 45 minutes behind schedule. So while we only intended to come for the M1 play, ended up watching the M4 one before, then ours, and then finally the M5s. The M4 play was hilarious, as was the M5 one (which also had an incredible amount of impressive props) (they eventually won best play). Our play, unfortunately sandwiched between the two, was a mix of dark and pretty mundane underlying themes, with only scattered jokes but a lot of abstract style. The whole thing had a wonderful film noir touch, with intriguing stage concepts and dynamics, while at the same time . I loved it, but I will admit it felt out of place there. The judges evidently did too.

Our church had their pledge week for the Arise and Build campaign for the proposed new church building... Felt really challenged by God (and not by pressured by everyone else, thankfully (which I was sort of expecting)), especially in this time of breakthrough. The anointing was really strong in that service, glad I made a conscious decision this time to step out in faith, and stuck with it. What pastor was getting at was true though: How can you expect a breakthrough in your life if you don't do something above, beyond, and ultimately different from what you normally do? In the words of Einstein - "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Finally watched High School Musical 3 on Monday, with Nick, Michelle, Lynnette, Xuhui, Chin Ee, Runyu and Weiting! Despite all the comments about HSM3 (and HSM) in general, including "cheesy", "childish" etc, I actually really liked it... Ok some parts were a little over the top, but overall the songs were great as usual, the choreography was really nice, and the story was... Fairytale-tale like. It's the sort of movie you watch with your heart, and not your brain imo. Ask me to watch/appreciate such movies 1-2 years ago, and you might have heard another opinion altogether. Don't know what happened somewhere along the line, but suddenly I find myself a sucker for stuff like cheesy fairytale romance and the like. Warm fuzzy feelings, anyone? I also seem to remain strangely immune to vast amounts of cheesiness, able to maintain a reasonable tolerance at what possibly may be lethal levels (inciting curses and groans of agony from the weak (lol)). I actually finished off the first 2 movies in the series last week as well, and they were nice as well... Though not as fun as watching with friends I must say. The songs have this incredible affinity for my brain music buffer. The equilibrium is so imbalanced that some are able to literally displace music with weaker bonds to the elements of the buffer system.

My prac time on Tuesday has gone from 1-3pm to 3-5pm. Sigh. Ended up grabbing lunch (McDonald's breakfast really, which we barely missed, literally between orders) with Mich, Runyu and Feifan, then crashed their prac at 1pm lol. Honestly, no difference anyway. The only one worth crashing is really the 11am one, right after lectures (and people do, in frightening numbers). The other two slots are so empty it hardly matters. I then went back to my room and slept. Yes, slept. I guess I was just too tired out, and I didn't manage to correct my sleep imbalance this weekend, what with all the happenings and hustle. Sleep is underrated, as David put it. I felt so much better at VCF tonight, more awake and alive than I usually am ><. I should sleep more. I actually spent Saturday morning going to the bank at Clementi, sorting out some stuff to do with my PayPal account (which I had to delete (thanks PayPal) after coming to Singapore) and other online/financial stuff. I don't know what possessed me after that, but I found myself walking over to Big Bookshop. The moment I walked in, these clear plastic folder things caught my eye. 30 minutes later, I check out with my arms chock full with giant ring folders, hole punchers, staplers, bookends, basically a whole lot of organisation stuff. I then set about putting my room in order. Something I have not done since I moved in here (cleaning yes, tidying no). Well, not much since I had my own room either. Fine, not much at all. Really don't know what made me do it, but I needed to I suppose. My notes were everywhere, and stuff was just super disorganised. It's not that I can't stand the mess, and I can find pretty much anything I need anyway, so... Anyway, my table at least is looking a lot better than it used to, and my bookshelves full. Tidying up always gave me a good feeling, but it was never good enough to motivate me to put in the effort to get stuff organised (recently at least (by recently I mean last 5 yearsish?)). Well, while there's still much to be done, the fact that I've made a start is... Pretty interesting.

I realised something (this pertains to an issue raised previously). You know those MBTI personality tests, and the four letter personality types? I have no idea anymore what my personality type is. I'm probably the only person who can take the same test like 3 times, and get a different type each time. The time of my life which I did the test seems to have some impact, but then it's a pretty difficult factor to measure. I've probably been assigned like 5 different personality types over the course of taking these tests (ISTJ, ISTP, INTP, INTJ, INFP, to name a few), and each time I do these, I take them very seriously everytime, making sure I try to give the answer which best reflects. But really, some of the questions... "When it comes down to it, life is a) very simple, b) very complicated". Like, what?? To me, I'd say the answer is both. Come on, how would you even answer that (actually, don't answer that. Most people seem ok with these tests...). The first few tests I did gave me ISTJ (as I have mentioned before), but reading the descriptor, it seems inaccurate now, sort of. The most recent one I did gave me INFP, which is almost totally opposite. Even then, in some things... I'm not even sure if that's accurate. People's personalities don't just almost completely change like that. Only one letter's stayed the same. And, in tests that score for percentages and strengths of each letter, only my "I" has ever been consistent, and more recently my "N", but not really either. The rest are just barely tipping over onto either side. Descriptors aren't helping either, they would all be sort of moderately accurate, but never quite there. Maybe getting you guys to do a Johari Window might help. It appears I don't know myself very well at all.

I've been feeling pretty unfit recently. Once again, no explanation. I suppose the feeling of being fit once is coming back to haunt me. I'm not exactly living a very healthy lifestyle at the moment =/. Wonder if I'll do anything about it.

Tutorial with "the Grinch" tomorrow. She isn't that bad a teacher really (note, teacher). Just a bad lecturer. Apparently CA results come out tomorrow too. No emotion.

Cya.

Airway resistance is the resistance of airways.

Posted at at 11/04/2008 11:00:00 PM on Tuesday, November 4, 2008 by Posted by Glen |   | Filed under:

The world seems not the same
Though I know nothing has changed
It's all my state of mind
I can't leave it all behind
I have to stand up to be stronger

I have to try
To break free
From the thoughts in my mind
Use the time that I have
I can say goodbye
Have to make it right
Have to fight
'Cause I know in the end it's worthwhile
That the pain that I feel slowly fades away
It will be all right

--------------------

I cannot stand this any longer. It's a terrible thing, to have ideas, personal reflections blooming in your mind, and then simply letting them fly by. It just feels to me like such a dreadful waste, really. Which was one of the reasons why this blog was birthed in the first place. Now, a very insightful/valid point worthy of note: this blog was in fact created during my self-imposed 1 year hiatus from playing WoW. And now, ever since the army (and consequently, since I started gaming like a gamer again), this ridiculous and outrageous habit of only posting at the very last hour, on Sunday nights just before bed, and not when I'm feeling it, has taken poisonous root. It has undoubtedly resulted in much stalling and stagnancy of my mental state, among other possible negative effects. Blogging is therapeutic, I've long ago come to realise the fact. But beyond that, it gives the individual an outlet to express, voice and just freely rant about anything and everything, an unlimited freedom in a sense, within a fixed domain (but what isn't). The thing is, of these thoughts and the like that flash through your head at ~50000/day, of the one's expressable, I'm willing to bet that 95% aren't. Hence, in an attempt to close the gap between the person who we show we are, and the person we think we are, personal blogs are invaluable in providing a framework somewhat detached from the current social standings, and therefore introducing a less restrained environment for that purpose. (Note the absence of "the person we really are". I am of the belief that this transcends even the level of expression blogs afford us in society today. An extremely close, personal relationship, perhaps? I also question the validity of self assessment at such levels.) I refuse to tolerate any self-inhibiting element of my own freedom of speech!! (Ok, that sounded dumb).

I don't even know if the origins of this blog have ever been mentioned previously (but then, I strongly doubt anyone's bothered to read every one of my posts (do correct me if I'm wrong, it'll be a pleasant surprise! (No, my hopes are not up.))). Well, some background: it was effectively created during my final year of school, Year 12. Subsequently, it was also the year of my hiatus. The actual date follows my return from a trip to Singapore (the first time I travelled alone, I believe) during our mid-semester break for a week, to settle administrative issues pertaining to my NS enlistment (at the end of the year), with medical check-ups and the like. Well, the whole trip, it's purpose and process as one entity really had an effect on me. That, combined somehow with the lack of something to apply myself to outside of requirements (school/CCAs/any commitment in general) (hey, I quit playing WoW, which was pretty significant given the avid gamer I am) were probably some elements which lent reason. Now someone remind me again why I brought this up. Anyway, I feel that my blog isn't fulfilling the full purpose it's creation was designed to accomplish. Working on it.

We got this new lecturer for our studies in the Respiratory System... And damn, she takes me way back. Ahh, the nostalgia of primary school days. "Get the f*** out of my lecture!" (paraphrased, of course) was especially stimulating. I didn't really think such crap would appear in uni, but I suppose every lecturer is different... And it is Singapore, so I suppose some crotchety old lady was bound to pop up as our lecturer sometime. I mean, it's fine if you want to bitch about latecomers, we're students, we all have a certain threshold when it comes to bitching. But honestly, are you even allowed to chase students out of the lecture theatre? About half of her first lecture was spent bitching, then paraphrasing the bitching (paraphrasing is something she does best, by the way). Takes a toll on the ears. Made me wonder what I would have done if I came late for her lecture, bothered to do the polite thing by coming in up by the back, finding an inconspicuous spot at the back, only to have the entire lecture halted on my account, made an embarrassment (paraphrased excerpt) in front of the cohort, then being verbally abused (paraphrased and then summarised, of course). Don't really want to know, and somehow I don't think she would either. Anyone else reminded of the Grinch, in more ways than one? >.>

I witnessed something that riled quite a bit earlier, but then gave me pause. I've never been one for open criticism (as much as I present), unless it was absolutely necessary or called for. Whether as a result of this or otherwise, it gets me pretty disappointed at people who show open disdain* for another's attempt at saying/explaining/demonstrating something out of their own goodwill, for the good of another or others. At a glance, it doesn't seem such a common occurance, but think again - the peer who is silently mocked by others for attempting to demonstrate a concept to a questioning classmate for their weak grasp of english, the community service volunteer shunned for their inadequacy or on sheer opinionated whim. Generally, it is the snobby third party, who benefits not from the actions of the targetted party, acting only as onlookers, who generate such sentiments. I started feeling contempt at this particular third party, before I realised something. In the not so distant past, that was me. The arrogant, elitist bastard who criticised based on the quality of anything at all, and saw not the motive. That an action was a free-willed and well-intentioned one meant nothing. This applied to many aspects, from noobs on web forums, to people who thought they knew something, attempting to aid people who knew they didn't. The blind leading the blind, and feel scorn for that blind leader, I did. That was before I started to question why I, myself gifted with true sight in whichever scenario this applied to, did nothing to help those stumbling, the lost and the floundering both. That said, I'm hoping that I've at least dealt with that character flaw and logical chink in myself.

*Note: the disdain here is a subtle yet powerful factor (in the form of words, actions, or anything that conforms to the below template really) - it's normally not addressed directly at the targetted party, but rather to others around (also members of the third party, and the second (those with something to gain)), and yet is in view of the targetted party themselves. This causes immeasurably more hurt and damage than if the expression had shifted completely either way (direct to first party, or direct to audience).

On another note, a freak accident at the washing machine resulted in the decolouration and as a result miscolouration of some of my clothes after a wash at the launderette downstairs. This tells me a few things: I need to get my own laundry detergent (using random ones around the launderette might have had to do with it >.>), and also that I need new clothes. Hmm clothes... Where do those come from again? Been way too long since I went out shopping for clothes by myself... Actually, have I ever gone clothing shopping alone? Considering going online this time around, like I do for pretty much everything else (which isn't much).

Oh wow, it's 3am. I need to get back into the habit of truly blogging again... How long this took is testament to how unconditioned I've become. Resolution! Blogging > gaming!?

'Til next time.

Posted at at 11/01/2008 01:10:00 AM on Saturday, November 1, 2008 by Posted by Glen |   | Filed under:

I woke up early in my hotel room
Wait for my alarm to go
I think about things I've gotta do
Damn my mind is gonna blow

I'm thinking out about whats ahead
Maybe I'll just stay in bed
Cause its no fun to be the one going out of my head
So I tell it to myself again

Your looking for something you can't find
If you give it up you'll lose your mind
Theres always something in your way
What can you say
Your gonna have a good day

--------------------

Various starting lines occurred to me for this post, among which were "I PASSED" and "LOLWIN", except the inaccuracy of those statements sort of got me. You see, the Biochemistry department has a particularly sadistic tendency in exams: when there are biochem MCQ questions, they wait for your OAS (the shading paper) to be collected, then proceed to UNLOAD the answers right on top of your heads, literally 5 minutes from the end of it. All you have is your question sheet (probably with your own answers written down), a pencil to write all the correct answers down, and your head in your hands. Ok seriously, I understand it as an attempt to sort of make the most out of the learning experience the test could be, by supplying us with the right answers. The thing is, counter-intuitive to this is the fact that our question sheets then disappear within minutes of the OAS, and seconds after all the answers have been read out. We sort of never see our question sheets again.

Well, as a result of that fiendish ordeal, I did get my score for half of the MCQs on the paper (which accounts for just under 50%). Wasn't a fantastic result. At all. Far from it, in fact. As of the time of this writing, I still have not encountered another student who obtained a score lower than mine on the biochem MCQs. Well, on the brighter side, it was still a pass, albeit a borderline, mediocre pass that has warning written all over it. Can't say I'm happy with it, but definitely can't say I expected anything more either really. There's still the rest of the exam left to be marked, but honestly I would have to be really bad to actually fail after passing this half.

Still, I simply left too much studying to the end to cope decently. I have learned something from this first term though: when you don't have teachers that care about ensuring you ace exams anymore, sacrifice is called for. Resolution here! At the end of the week, at least try to have gone over all the lectures that week once at some point. And we shall run this setup through the next set of trials. (So anticlimatic, I know. The thing is, I haven't even done that consistently for the last few months, so a few basic study habits are in order, one small step at a time. Cut me some slack!)

We actually had an OG study session, sort of, on Wednesday night (Yes! I succeeded!). Was thanks to Lynnette really... I was supposed to go post a message on the Yahoo Group calling for people to join, but I just totally blanked out wondering what to say, but Lynnette did it for me, and it was perfect =) we had a pretty good turnout too. Honestly, I don't know about everyone else, but I thought that it wasn't only much more fun than sitting alone in your room mugging, it was productive as well. I probably learnt more discussing and opening stuff up that night than I did in all my studying up to that point. So, thanks out from me to all those who turned up, skeptical and furtive... You guys helped me pass!! Just hope I'm not the only one who got something out of it, because that would be... Let's just say I'll have to find another way if that's the case. Feedback appreciated please~! (And please be truthful =/)

Well, the real highlight of the week was really the exam day itself! I know what you're thinking-- The CA was merely a setback! You sad, sad person right? Well actually, in some sense. I honestly don't know anyone else who would go back for lectures after their exams. But still, it happened. They somehow managed to schedule a two hour lecture from 3-5pm in the afternoon, when our exam ended at 12+. Like, come onnnnn?! Oh well, it was what happened after that made it bearable. After 5pm, we went down to the Multi-Purpose Sports Hall (MPSH) and played some badminton =D. It's been ages since I've played, but it was actually quite fun (despite my embarrassing attempts to land a blow on the shuttle cock at all), especially playing with friends.

After that, those of us with rooms at NUS headed back, trailed by whoever didn't to wash up and stuff, before we all headed off for dinner~! Weixin was lucky enough to witness my biologically hazardous and unstable room (the aftermath of studying the night before)... I got a shock myself when I stepped into the room. Like, wow, this was what happened last night? Looked like a mini-hurricane hit or something. Anyway, after that we all met back and headed down to Holland Village, to Crystal Jade where we had the Xiao Long Bao buffet! It was really cheap, especially for an à la carte buffet, with a steamboat (hotpot) too. I've never consciously tasted Xiao Long Bao's before, and they definitely lived up to the hype (we've been talking about it for ages before the exam, with people making wild and extravagant claims about how delicious they were). I've got to say, I really liked the food, despite not being a great fan of chinese food. Actually, it hasn't occured to me that I didn't like Chinese food at some point for a while now. Taste buds adapting? Anyway, altogether we ordered and finished ~45 Longs of Xiao Long Bao (for quantification's sake, one Long contains 5 Baos, which are each one mouthful of goodness exactly). That actually comes to something around 225 Xiao Long Baos (GG kudos to the chef btw, those things definitely did not look easy to prepare either). This not including the steamboat, and everything else we ate. I ate 3 Longs myself, while Ben managed a whopping 10 Longs by himself (that's 50 Xiao Long Baos. GG.). Was a lovely dinner overall, lighthearted chatter -completely unrelated- to the exam we had JUST THAT MORNING. Thank goodness the exam euphoria ran out before then. Really a nice feeling just spending time with the OG after the first taste of stress, which we weathered fairly well I would say. Though not the whole OG turned up (when is that ever the case), it didn't really matter, since the core group were all present =P. We celebrated Nick's birthday at the same time, somehow the coordination managed not to crumble in front of us lol... At least I'm sure he appreciated the effort and the rest that was put into arranging it.

While the day ended here for most, a few of us (Nick, Nikki, Ben and I) actually headed back to King Edward Hall and watched a movie, at 1.30am in the morning (and me suffering from a severe bout of acid reflex I tend to get after overeating). If you haven't seen The Bucket List, I highly recommend it. If you're bothering to read this blog at all, trust me, you'd probably appreciate it =). I'm not really a fan of literature/english-ish analytical films, but this one was different, somehow. Who knows, might just have been the late hour and my severely disrupted senses from the acid. Still, pretty rare finding such films in mordern film nowadays that manage to succeed.

Yeah, so Friday night was awesome, probably the most fun I've had in a while (IRL lol). Probably won't be seeing this happen much, so might as well make full use of the opportunity and just have fun while we can. That appears to be Med School for you (this from a freshman 3 months in).

Oh yes, I went down to Mustafa Centre today to restock on some things that don't normally need overfrequent restocks. Was quite interesting seeing the increased number of chinese people down that area - it seems the Chinese are finally discovering the place. It's located in a primarily Indian district, so you generally would see little or no Chinese present. However, few realise that the prices at Mustafa in general are actually significantly less than from any other retail store outside, to the point that assuming mass purchases are going to be made, it's actually worth the trip down (bought stuff like shaving blades, multivitamins). So yeah, they really do sell pretty much everything. Cheaper. Just a note to self and any prospective customers though: Do try your very best to avoid the entire area on the eve of Deepavali itself (the reason tomorrow is a Public Holiday). The crowds were imba, and you just get zerged like a poor marine and overwhelmed to the point where movement is impossible. Random side note: there were way too many guys holding hands with each other, fingers interlocked, all over the place. Beyond the point of freaky. Is it just me, am I missing out in understanding some facet of culture prevalent in those parts? Not too sure myself, but the lack of the presence of any females around the streets etc in general tends to suggest otherwise. Maybe it's just me being a closed minded conservative (not).

Another random note! Singaporeans need to be less bound in our human interactions with each other to political correctness. It has it's place, definitely, but once social interaction and structure adopts that framework as an ultimate too, I start to suffocate. It can just be all so false sometimes, like everyone's hiding behind some façade. How does one express oneself freely, when freedom of expression seems non-existent? Would it still be taken as such, or ultimately be seen as perhaps a form of rebellion, of insanity, of exclusion? Worry less about saying the wrong thing, and more about actually having said it! I'm sure any reasoning person would agree that the change would be for the better, at least for smaller scale pursuits in cultural change.

I'm eating way too much into the holiday tomorrow. We were meant to watch High School Musical 3, but there were too few responses. Sigh, I would have liked to watch it though, regardless of how many others came along (0 would be questionable though). Oh well, there's always another time.

Ciao.

Milk is 92% sucrose!?

Posted at at 10/27/2008 02:41:00 AM on Monday, October 27, 2008 by Posted by Glen |   | Filed under:

We're the settlers of year zero
Lets reconstruct and take it back

Leaders of our time
Heading for a downfall
The thresh hold of revolution
(Take heed) The last freedom call

Blanked out fire etched on the crystal display
The sees are deep
You better swim
Don't go numb
Collect the word, add some gold and give it back
The sees are deep
You better swim
Don't go numb

--------------------

Sigh. You can tell I'm getting overloaded when I miss posting. The general situation goes like this: the pre-patch for WoW: WotLK the expansion has been released. It's addictive. Let's leave it at that. To top it off, the halloween event has just started, and will last for about two weeks, neatly skewering the exam week (with the new achievement system Blizzard implemented, there's now even more incentive to... Do more. Which I have no choice but to resist with everything I have). At the same time, I have an exam on Friday. Which I am totally unprepared for, given what happened earlier today.

There was another Formative Assessment after school, this time on Lower Limbs (the last one was on Upper Limbs). I'm quite sure I would have failed it had those questions been the actual ones on the paper. Which was sort of a shocking wake up call (again). More depressing was the fact that the questions made quite a clear statement about the way we're meant to be studying for this test... And it's not what I'm used to. Perhaps it's once again the lack of it being "fed" to me. There are things that will inevitably come out, that I've never heard uttered from the lecturer's or tutor's lips, and I think that's the most ingratiating thing of all that I have to adjust to. Without having to study and actually "mug" the textbook, I can normally get by through tests and the like, as long as I've heard it mentioned at some point and made notes of it (which I do). The primary problem here is that most questions aren't going to be based on anything mentioned before.

Which is why I actually have to study, "properly" (as it's defined in Singapore), for the first time in a long time. It's mentally draining, boring, but there doesn't seem to be any other way. If I survive this first test, perhaps some room for innovation might appear. Trying in vain to get some sort of study/discussion group going, but almost everyone's just too caught up in their own private mugging to pay any heed. In my opinion, it's the most effective way to study (pooling resources was always a better idea, and even if that only applies to me, I'm sure I'm not the only one who will benefit from it), but... Damn the culture here. But try I shall, I won't be daunted yet.

I realise that I tend to think about things in general when I'm not doing anything. Which, in this day, age, and may I say again, culture, is a rare commodity. I did find that I still tend to though, most particularly on public transport, and probably more when I'm not listening to music (you already begin to see how rare it is). Except now, public transports to anywhere, while not only few and far between, are corrupted by the constant urge not to waste time this close to the exams, and therefore by making vain attempts to read through or study. I don't know why I do it: it's effect is minimal, if noticeable at all. Human Cultural nature?

I shall get back to using time up in tenuous balance I'm currently striking between study/leisure. I flat out refuse to go all out studying (as I would for an exam with, say, much more weighting than this one (worth a maximum of 10%)): probably for all sorts of reasons. Arrogance? Disgust? Unwillingness? Disbelief? Denial? Incapability? Whatever the case, by next post you'll probably know how it went.

'Til then, wish me focus (if you've a care to). I realise many would believe I don't deserve the well-wishes, with the irresponsible attitude and shallow reasoning. Don't worry, none taken.

Bye.

This lecture was brought to you by the letter: "N".

Posted at at 10/20/2008 03:59:00 PM on Monday, October 20, 2008 by Posted by Glen |   | Filed under:

Take a look around
Don't you see it
See that you are the only real face in the room
No one here has a clue what your feelin'
Don't feel bad
Keep your sadness alive

Look at all these happy people
Living their lives
Look at all these plastic people
There's nothing inside
Look at all these shallow people
Telling their lies
Look at all these empty people, people

Don’t you know
The Misery loves company
Yeah I heard
The Misery was looking for me
Happiness, is a face that don't look good on me
Yeah I heard
The Misery comes looking for me
Whoa, misery's my company
Whoa, misery is looking for me
Looking for me

--------------------

Late night, late week posts, got to love them. I would have posted earlier, but there always seemed to be something better to do. And they were. Just that Sunday night seems to have this place set aside in my mind just for me to make the post. Comes from doing this too many times on Sunday nights.

Well this week wasn't very eventful, started on lower limbs, and back from bones... As you would assume, much less content than the coming weeks. However, the fact that the exams are actually coming up pretty soon sort of just struck me. The Formative Assessment (like a trial assessment to prepare us for the style of the upcoming Continuous Assessment) sort of woke me up to that fact (quite unpleasantly, actually),and although I have a tendency not to study for most things up until the last minute, I decided to Open the Sacred Textbook. Upon which I got quite a nasty shock. I learned one thing from the ordeal though... I think I'll open the book a bit earlier next time. Or, there's always the alternative... Simply abstain from opening.

I'm still struggling through what seems like a heap of information in the book that they don't come close to imparting (despite the fantastic lectures and insightful tutorials by Prof. Voon >.>). The worst thing is that, that's the stuff that comes out in the assessments. It's almost unfair in that sense... Maybe I'm still clinging to the spoon-fed goodness from my classroom.

I've got some sort of ear infection I think. Nothing major, but bad enough to piss me off. Feels like my hearing is partially impaired, and I think my ear canal is swollen, and it hurts. I guess I'll get it checked tomorrow if it doesn't improve. The clinic in NUS doesn't open on weekends anyway (what sort of clinic...), and can't be bothered going out searching for one, paying the doctor to diagnose it as otitis externa, and then paying for some ear drops to relieve the pain (no, I don't want antibiotics). But sigh, if it stays any longer I'll probably need them, so I've resolved that I'll go tomorrow (if it's still bad).

Ok, just felt like saying this. No offence to anyone, but seriously, what is with the whole "appear offline" thing on MSN? I mean, yeah I know, wow look I can be on MSN, but not get disturbed? Nifty! It's certainly handy, being able to stealth mode messenger. But I disagree with people who constantly make use of the feature. I mean, what are the motives behind appearing offline? I would say being able to choose who you talk to (eg. According to your own need), and not be socially obligated or disturbed by other people talking to you, would be a big one. Now just think about this: what would happen if everyone did that? You're going to sign into MSN messenger, and get hit by a wall of offline contacts. Everyone's just waiting for someone else to go online so they can say/ask/do whatever, but only to that specific person(s). What I'm trying to say is, I think appearing offline, while having it's uses, when used overmuch, is ultimately not a very generous gesture. It really boils down to taking without giving back (or only selectively doing so). Once again, there are reasons/times/places where this doesn't/cannot apply, but in general, I find this the case. Nothing against anyone though, just my thoughts on the concept =)

Oh yes, I met up with my grandparents on Thursday, they were in the country so I just went to meet them in the city at Peninsula Hotel, and we had dinner there. They certainly aren't dull or unrefined or unread (I almost typed undead here, too much games), and I must say they have a lot of dignity, especially for people of their age, really respect that. I find it sweet that my grandfather still treats my grandmother like a lady ^^. Anyway, there wasn't much to talk about really, double generational gap does a lot to conversation. Still, went through a fair bit... They flew off today, but I'll be seeing them on December when I fly over to Sri Lanka with the rest of the family for the birthday/anniversary celebrations.

Also just speaking a bit about politics and stuff made me realise something. Controversial as it sounds, I think that religion plays some part in inhibiting third world country advancement and development. Corruption actually has a foothold to take root from when a country is largely populated by majority of people with strong religious beliefs. I suppose education is sort of related to this, but then again the two are interconnected. Honestly, I think it's hard to find a first world country with a largely dominant religious belief held strongly by the majority of the population. It allows for seriously desperate and foolish measures by opposing parties (such as declaring extra weekly holidays on religiously significant days (which actually happened btw >.>)). They won the election (by a long shot, so sad), but killed the economy. So yeah. Just a noob's take.

Also, a friend of mine commented on a very valid point the other day: What's with everyone studying so hard?? I mean, you study hard in final year to get into the course you want. And then you get into the course you wanted, and you study even harder? What's the point? Why not kick back, relax, and ease up a little? I mean, sure, you study because you have to... But I think it's excessive in many cases (especially in Singapore). Unless you're gunning for the Dean's list, I can't really see any justification for it (unless you enjoy mugging). Maybe I'm just being shallow and not seeing the big picture.

First Aid course next week, should be an interesting change to the repetitive nature of daily lectures. The WoW arena season (4) is ending with this Tuesday's prepatch to the expansion (releasing on the 13th of November!). Some big changes incoming, but also means I can ease up on WoW a bit until then. My fingers hurt from playing my guitar (probably still sounds like sounds you'd get from hitting it). Oh well.

Bye.

Posted at at 10/12/2008 11:55:00 PM on Sunday, October 12, 2008 by Posted by Glen |   | Filed under: