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So here I am again, hovering in the space between earth and sky, heaven and hell. Purgatory to some, the void to others. Don't know how I got here, only that it had something to do with you. Don't know how I'll get out, only that maybe, one day, you'll save me from this empty place. So I'll wait, and I'll be holding on, until that day. And if it takes forever, then forever here I'll stay. 

I'm different, too. You aren't the only one. Unlike the rest, I'm not going to coax you down, like anyone else would, like you'd expect me to. I only ask that you let me up. I'm not asking you to come out, only that you let me in. I'm standing alone outside the cold, stone walls of a castle so far away from civillisation, with a lyre in hand and fresh flowers, a serenade in my mouth and a longing in my heart, my soul bare. Shut me in, lock me up, but as long as you stay with me, who needs the outside? Two is company, but one is only alone.

I realise I don't handle my emotions very well. I'm too easily touched, overly sensitive to the affairs of my heart. I swear, I never used to cry this much in a year. Nutcase? Perhaps. Emo kid? Probably. But when it comes, I can't stop it for the world, like nothing I've ever felt before. All that is alright, except for one thing. I happen to be a guy. Guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially not anywhere near as easily or for the same reasons. The poor brain's too fried to be of help either, it overheated and died in the first wave of emotions this strong.

Do you know what it feels like to pour out your heart? It's tiring, and draining, like nothing I've ever done before (think 3 days without sleep), but at the end, I'm glad I did it. With all my cards on the table, I can sit back and enjoy the cigar, the ambience and the drink, because for me, there's nothing more to play, only to wait for the end, since I have no more turns. As to how it all ends, that's up to the cards still in your own hands, and how you choose to play them. Take your time, there's no pressure. My cards aren't going to change, although my cigar might end, my drink empty, and the band finish performing. But I'll be sitting at this table, as long as you still are.

We had our last clinical session yesterday, and that was the last for this academic year (the rest of this half). I must say, it was quite an experience getting involved with patients so early in the course, and I'm really thankful for such a dedicated and helpful doctor. We gave him a cute bear, a trophy, and a card signed by us, which he'll really appreciate, I think. It was really nice of the girls too, to have thought up the idea. 

Been so tired, but there's a lot to be done. Prioritise, prioritise.

<3.