I've discovered a recurring weakness in myself. Exposure to high high pressure and stress follows with vaulting, ambitious plans envisioned for a utopian aftermath. Ultimately, they turn out unrealistic. Not so much due to their magnitude, but my ineptness in accurately gauging my own potential following an ordeal such as the one not very long ago. Lapses into states of sheer apathy, an aversion from duty, from anything useful at all, save fun. An adrenaline junkie, if you may. The correct technical term this eludes me at the time of this writing. As you can tell, I really don't care.
Surrounded, trapped by circumstances, the result of what was just explained is a terrible crunch, either occuring at the end of the holidays, or in my case, a major exodus, on several levels.
Being forced out of a room, not once but twice this holidays, was a terrible blow. Contend as I might, even with the help of my dear mother (a master in the art of Compulsion), little ground was gained. Resorting to outright rebellion might have worked, had my appeal not been on the line for another year in this hole, with their draconian administrators and imbalanced resource distribution, not to mention fail customer support. If this was a game, I'd quit. No, says the UB3R 31337 H4X0R, I'd DDoS/root their servers. Pwnt.
Unfortunately, it isn't, and we're all just victims in the end.
Whole bunch of other things to do as well... And heading back to Melbourne on the 8th is the source of the crunch, albeit, thankfully, one to look forward to still (as opposed to the end of the holidays...). Long story short, it'll get done, with a little focus (left without a choice, really). So grateful for the dear girl, who's been around to help with all the mess of moving, and lend support in this psychologically unstable time for me, despite her own share of it. I'll miss her, for the first 10 days that I'll be away in Melbourne, and even more for the 3 weeks in Europe. But as consolation of sorts, she'll be coming to join me in Australia for the rest of my time there... It's nice having good things to look forward to =)
That said, it's been a great two weeks, spending time catching up on the important things in life. Phase II of the holidays begins in a week, and the preparations must begin. Now, let's attempt to sleep in this half-packed, sneezy, dusty room, even as i'm reluctant to leave it.
Your presence is magic.