I never thought I'd die alone
Another six months I'll be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You'll never set foot in my room again
You'll close it off, board it up
Remember the time that I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall
Please tell mom this is not her fault
I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone
Give all my things to all my friends
You'll never set foot in my room again
You'll close it off, board it up
Remember the time that I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall
Please tell mom this is not her fault
I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone
--------------------
Yesterday was one of the worst set-ups for failure I've ever been in. I had Uni prac, as usual, and I dropped my school bag and computer off in mum's car before going. I would then come back by train, with mum normally reaching home before me. Yesterday I neglected to take into account 1 factor.
Apparently my mum, dad and sister were going to attend her school's production, some play. Mum mentioned it in passing a few days ago, and that was about the last I heard of it. It happened that the play was on Wednesday. And mum decided she would just go straight to the play from work, joining my sister in school while my dad drove down.
The sad thing was that I didn't realise until I got home. Hmm, mum's car isn't here. Ok, no one's here. Great. Now this wouldn't have been quite as harmful if I didn't have a SPEC SAC the next day PERIOD 1. I call mum and she proceeds to blame me for not taking my stuff, saying that she wasn't about to do anything about it now. It took every ounce of willpower not to scream/swear/curse at her attitude. I almost broke a table, a door and my foot in the next few minutes.
They got home at 11, which was the time I came to life and started studying, with the help of caffeine. Which didn't do enough (does it ever). I think I went past 2 before I was just wasting time staring at questions and panicking.
The SAC this morning, as promised, was the most difficult SAC I've done this year, across every subject. Perhaps it was the fact I couldn't study properly for it. Perhaps it actually was a hard SAC (apparently, from what I heard, it was). I believe it was a combination of both.
This week is just a flurry of SACs railed one after another, going through the whole of next week too. Barely any time to think about, well, anything. And I still manage to get distracted. Playing more games, doing less homework, doing Less study.
Apathy sets in when motivation is gone. I guess that's what's happening. Living an illusion, a pretense only you see. And what it takes is for someone else to show you reality before you wake up. This is the result of getting that reality smashed into your face. And I just peel it off, give my head a shake, dust it off, fling reality aside and keep walking. Walking along the sweet, pleasant, never-ending path. Which actually ends in a sheer cliff.
Good bye.
Yesterday was one of the worst set-ups for failure I've ever been in. I had Uni prac, as usual, and I dropped my school bag and computer off in mum's car before going. I would then come back by train, with mum normally reaching home before me. Yesterday I neglected to take into account 1 factor.
Apparently my mum, dad and sister were going to attend her school's production, some play. Mum mentioned it in passing a few days ago, and that was about the last I heard of it. It happened that the play was on Wednesday. And mum decided she would just go straight to the play from work, joining my sister in school while my dad drove down.
The sad thing was that I didn't realise until I got home. Hmm, mum's car isn't here. Ok, no one's here. Great. Now this wouldn't have been quite as harmful if I didn't have a SPEC SAC the next day PERIOD 1. I call mum and she proceeds to blame me for not taking my stuff, saying that she wasn't about to do anything about it now. It took every ounce of willpower not to scream/swear/curse at her attitude. I almost broke a table, a door and my foot in the next few minutes.
They got home at 11, which was the time I came to life and started studying, with the help of caffeine. Which didn't do enough (does it ever). I think I went past 2 before I was just wasting time staring at questions and panicking.
The SAC this morning, as promised, was the most difficult SAC I've done this year, across every subject. Perhaps it was the fact I couldn't study properly for it. Perhaps it actually was a hard SAC (apparently, from what I heard, it was). I believe it was a combination of both.
This week is just a flurry of SACs railed one after another, going through the whole of next week too. Barely any time to think about, well, anything. And I still manage to get distracted. Playing more games, doing less homework, doing Less study.
Apathy sets in when motivation is gone. I guess that's what's happening. Living an illusion, a pretense only you see. And what it takes is for someone else to show you reality before you wake up. This is the result of getting that reality smashed into your face. And I just peel it off, give my head a shake, dust it off, fling reality aside and keep walking. Walking along the sweet, pleasant, never-ending path. Which actually ends in a sheer cliff.
Good bye.
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