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Hello to all my readers~ The rain is pouring outside like anything, and it just feels terrible that I have to leave in a few hours, quite possibly in the midst of this torrential downpour. Yay.

The good news is... I'm 10 days from my POP! That means a 2 week break in between the time I finish with Basic Military School, and am posted to wherever I go.

The last week was extremely packed, but the highlights were the 16km route march (OMG, don't ask. I almost died. No, serious.), and our live firing at the rifle range. Fine, the 16km route march was bad, but I survived. It came down to the point where at times, I knew I was holding on by nothing more than a thread to my very consciousness. The scary thing is, I could actually feel the thread. And I could actually let it go. It just felt easy, so easy, just to slip into oblivion and release the burden that forced me down and slowly killed me. Except if I let go, I would have to do the whole thing over. Mind over body, as they say, and I pushed, and kept on pushing. As we approached the end, my mind was totally blanked, there existed only pain. Pain, and the destination, where pain would cease. I blocked out the possibility of ending the suffering right then (we have the option at anytime to "fall out", and simply quit the march. We would be sent back to the Company line to meet up with the rest when they finished; you just had to do it again, by yourself, another day.). I've become quite good at shutting my mind off to oblivion. You know what the drawback is? Everytime I book out, I find myself slighting stupider. No joke, I bet that pushing my mind to that kind of limit destroys brain cells or something. I shall conduct further research on this and report any findings when I get the time -.-".

Live firing should have been interesting. The waiting time completely killed it. Overall, we shot about 36 rounds, over the span of about 24 hours (break for short, insufficient in between. Still had to pack everything up and move out, then reset everything when we went back to the range the next day.). The test consists of 32 rounds, 16 shot in the day and 16 at night. 28/32 required for marksman award, 16/32 for a pass. My day shoot: 15/16 targets hit. First night shoot: 4/16 targets hit. Why? My promethium tip, supposed to help me aim in the dark, failed. It just decided not to light up at night, so all I had to aim was a flashing light in the distance and a ring that was my rear-sight tip. In the end, they broke a light stick and applied the liquid onto my foresight tip for a temporary solution. All I know of my score is that I passed the reshoot, marksmanship award out the window. Meh.

This far in, I finally realised why I can't seem to appreciate, or simply tolerate the military way of life. The essence lies thus (my brain is truly in danger, I took way too long to figure this out... Almost 3 months.): In the army, the system used to maintain order is one of ranks, where those more experienced/skilled/qualified/fit/pro are ultimately awarded a higher rank, higher than those who possess less of the above, a meritocratic system (at least, ideally it is). The thing is, under this system, the whole system of human equality is disrupted. In a military setting (technically), one man may tell another to perform an impossible feat, or kill himself trying (of course, there's military court for all this etc, but this is an illustration). The man of lower rank must simply comply. Refuse, and he could be charged. React violently or in a way which could be taken as a sign of aggression, and he could be charged. The two men may be almost alike, but due to the difference in rank, one is simply lower than the other. You may argue, not all humans are equal anyway. But in which setting is it so blatantly expressed other than in this? Normally, there would be some sort of separation, be it geographic, economic, maybe even racial, between these "unequal" people in a normal society: in a military context, they are forced to live together, with those of higher rank living in better conditions, with more freedom, power, wealth (the pay's more >.>), and everything else, in full view of those he has every right to command. The worst: some of them lord it over you. The actively make sure you feel the power difference between the two of you, though you be of same age, same race, have everything else in common. I foresee friendships breaking, relationships severed, dignity crushed and honour stolen, should the world slip into a society thus. Where in the civilised first world does that even happen anymore. Can that happen anymore.

Well that was my rant. Now I'm out of time. The next week brings the last of my challenges in BMT, and the greatest: the 24km route march. God, preserve me through this one. If the 16km brought me to the edge of exhaustion... I'll need every ounce, every glimmer of willpower that remains in me to ride this insurmountable obstacle out.

Side note... Hooked on Nightwish's music! I had a few songs of theirs, but I only just realised how good they actually were. Another side note! I finished Book 2 of the Wheel of Time (Go go Live Range waiting time...), just grabbed Book 3 "The Dragon Reborn" this book out =). Lol, another side note... F.I.R came to my church today! Apparently their born-again Christians, who even went so far as to profess their faith on Taiwanese national television. Had a small performance for us, a few songs, it was good.

Fine, last side note. I downloaded this game for PSP called Patapon: currently the highest rated game on Gamespot. It's lame indeed. But damn it's addictive. Go look it up, can't be bothered linking. I suggest trying it sometime if you possess a PSP (Sorry, all my gaming needs these days are met by the PSP... I'm barely at the computer these days anymore.).

Edit: Fine I linked it.

Alright, time to go. Next week will be the last weekend in BMT! Few days after that and I'm free... (For 2 weeks, weekends not included).

Good bye.

May the last embrace of the Mother welcome me home.